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Topic: Marriage (Read 828 times) |
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gore2424
New Board Hall of Famer
Camero's "RULE"
    
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Posts: 697
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Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
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Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast tab le.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house. After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is time to go home
and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
*****************************************
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
*****************************************
God may have created man before woman, but there
is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
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what the hamsalad was that ¿?¿
I said your hair looks nice Ü
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zwibbs/Scott
New Board Hall of Famer
Stay Strong !!!
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Posts: 2206
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #1 on: Dec 29th, 2007, 7:48am » |
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Very Good !!! 
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There's always light at the end of the Tunnel.
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llreed
New Board Junior
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Posts: 68
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #2 on: Dec 29th, 2007, 8:31pm » |
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Note to self -
Not all created equal but we certainly entertain each another. Who can say marriage is boring when you have your whole life torture each other. Thank God for the little things. 
llreed
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kcopelin
CH.com Alumnus
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good grief
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Posts: 536
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #3 on: Jan 3rd, 2008, 1:11am » |
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Then there is a real tombstone in Key West that reads..."At least I know where he's sleeping tonight." 
Right next to the one that says 'I told you I was sick"
kathy
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Words count, chose carefully.
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Posts: 10429
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #4 on: Jan 7th, 2008, 12:41pm » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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mummymac
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Old Timer
Kissed Donny Osmond and proud of it
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Posts: 454
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #5 on: Jan 7th, 2008, 1:24pm » |
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I thought these were so funny I sent them around work,
THEY WERE A BIG HIT
Thanks
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Tanya
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Jonny
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Posts: 26213
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #6 on: Jan 20th, 2008, 1:41am » |
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SWEET!
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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imfareware
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Veteran
Hello Everyone!!
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Posts: 118
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #7 on: Jan 20th, 2008, 8:37pm » |
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Very Nice!
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Pain is temporary, Love is Permanent
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Farting relieves the pressure
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Posts: 4024
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Re: Marriage
« Reply #8 on: Jan 23rd, 2008, 9:48am » |
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I would say im dyn but my wife said I died years ago and she is waiting for rigermortise too set in!
Mike
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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