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CC_stole_my_Harte
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Your first time...
« on: Feb 5th, 2007, 4:04pm »
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Not how it sounds....
 
I'm talking about the first time you saw your beloved have a CH attack.
 
I remember how scared I was.  He had told me about these mythical "clusters" when we started dating but it wasn't until about 6 mos. into our relationship that I discovered how horrendous they were.  We were on the way to go see the class of 2003 graduate (I was c/o 04) and he looked at me like he was sorry for something and said "I'm about to have a cluster."  I started to get scared and asked him "what can I do?"  Pretty much nothing I was about to find out.  there was no shoulder and we had come to a stop light right in front of the convention center where the graduation was and he jsut put it in park and threw his hazards on.  People kept stopping to see if he was alright and I didn't know what to tell them.  He had his head in his hands and his eye was streaming tears, and his nose was running pretty bad.  I am not good at holding back tears, so I started to silently cry right there in the passenger seat.  We sat there for 45 minuites until it was over.  I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything.  He kept apoligizing for putting me through that and making me be there, but all I wanted to do was hold him and do whatever I could to stop it.
 
Friday will be our 4 year anniversary.  I was there to mark his 20 year bout with these things (He's had them since he was 6).  So is there any studies being done on if they go away after so many years?  I can't imagine him being a 70 year old man still suffering from this kind of intense pain.  That's just not possible!
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Jackie
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Re: Your first time...
« Reply #1 on: Feb 5th, 2007, 5:32pm »
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Hi ....
 
Yes, I remember the first time.  It was many years ago but seems like yesterday.  It doesn't get any easier to witness but you will gain confidence in your ability to support.  Try not to be scared...be brave and he will draw from your strength.  Make sure he knows you don't blame him for anything.....
 
I bet you're already doing all the above....
 
Learn as much as you can....talk to him about his needs during a hit (if you haven't already)
 
You sound like a good supporter, Sweetie.....hang in there and he'll hang in there with you...
 
When does it end?  Well,  when it's damned well ready I guess Huh
 
Good luck and remember we're only a post away...
 
Jackie
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Your first time...
« Reply #2 on: Feb 5th, 2007, 8:57pm »
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If there is anyone who can understand the pain YOU are going through it is Jackie.
 
Listen to this lady....she is wise beyond her years.   Wink
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Re: Your first time...
« Reply #3 on: Feb 6th, 2007, 9:16pm »
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I know others have heard this story... We were at a John Cougar Mellencamp concert (on a date) and he suddenly looked at me and said "Oh my God Im going to get one of those headaches".  I myself as you all know suffer from Migraine.  So I thought when I saw that panic in his face that it was going to be something bad, really bad. I then watched my big strong new boyfriend metomorphosize into something I had never expected.  It frightened me beyond anything I had ever imagined.  I thought I finally found this great guy that loved me and now he is going to die from some brain disorder.
That began our fight against the beast. That was like 20 years ago.  We haven't given up the fight yet but we have such great support here that we have the weapons for battle...  
love to you all   Ree
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Your first time...
« Reply #4 on: Feb 7th, 2007, 3:37pm »
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I would also like to say that I sure wish that your BF had explained all this to you way in advance so you didn't have to go through this in the way you did.   You could have researched and read what others have to say and the ways in which you could help, like makingcertain that he has enough 02, making him strong coffee and getting him ice packs for his neck and temple.. You can  specially help with the prying eyes and questions from others.
 
Believe me......THAT is a biggie.
 
I was in a restaurant and got hit fast and went to the bathroom..and someone called  the police.   I don't have to tell you what they were thinking.  If it hadn't been for the explanations of my husband...I'd be writing this from a cell right now.    Learn all you can hon.  It is your best weapon, and his.    
 
Linda
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Re: Your first time...
« Reply #5 on: Feb 8th, 2007, 2:48am »
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Honestly , I cant remember what the first time was like, I was so shocked that my memory blanked out ! I have no recollection whatsoever of the first time he had the CH attack!  Cry
 
Since then I have witnessed close to 900 hits. The one that upsetted me the most was the one he had in the shopping centre. He was writhing on the floor, moaning and I was kneeling by his side crying .... People walked past and stared. Some asked to call an ambulance, some just stood there and looked, some asked me if he was on drugs! ......
 
My heart still breaks every time he has one and I feel guilty that he is in so much pain yet I cant share it with him or make it better. All I can do is be within reach and quietly wait for him to come out of it, then to give him a hug, a cold face wash, a kiss and to tell him that I love him very much.
 
All in the life of a supporter. And I am prepared to keep doing it for as long as he has cluster, no matter how many years it may be.
 
Hugs to you.
 
BB
« Last Edit: Feb 8th, 2007, 2:51am by BB » IP Logged
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