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Dirt Roads and family values (Read 1967 times)

cash5542 CH.com Hall of Famer Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 1243 x1\|Ocean Pines\|USA\|usa\|498\|141\|MD,Maryland Gender:	Dirt Roads and family values May 31^st, 2008 at 1:08pm This commentary is from Paul Harvey. Something worth thinking about! Charlotte Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to or
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ClusterChuck

CH.com Alumnus

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The BEAST rises again,
and again, and again,
and .

Posts: 5394
Greenville, North Carolina
Gender: male

Re: Dirt Roads and family values
Reply #1 - May 31^st, 2008 at 3:21pm

Charlotte, I could not get that to do anything, or say anything ...

BUT, in snooping around the site, I DID find this gem:

1. Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants.

2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol content.

3. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

4. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it so I said "Implants?"

5. I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up fast.

6. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

7. I have my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

8. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

9. I got a sweater for Christmas...I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

10. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

11. I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

12. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

13. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and meathead's.

14. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...now THAT'S a message!

15. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

16. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

17. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

18. I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

19. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

20. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

(continued)

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ClusterChuck

CH.com Alumnus

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The BEAST rises again,
and again, and again,
and .

Posts: 5394
Greenville, North Carolina
Gender: male

Re: Dirt Roads and family values
Reply #2 - May 31^st, 2008 at 3:24pm

Part two:

21. Welcome to Shit Creek -- Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!

22. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

23. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

24. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? (of course that comment does NOT apply to me!)

25. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

26. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

Flipping GREAT words of wisdom!!!

(I even stole two of them to put in my personal quote section)

Chuck

CAUTION: Do NOT smoke when using or around oxygen. Oxygen can permeate your clothing or bedding. Wait, before lighting cigarette or flame.

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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: Dirt Roads and family values Reply #3 - May 31^st, 2008 at 3:30pm Chuck, The Paul Harvey story wasn't anything remotely like your little gem.
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cash5542 CH.com Hall of Famer Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 1243 x1\|Ocean Pines\|USA\|usa\|498\|141\|MD,Maryland Gender:	Re: Dirt Roads and family values Reply #4 - May 31^st, 2008 at 4:39pm Yeah, but I laughed until I cried at Chuck's. Both are great! Charlotte
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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: Dirt Roads and family values Reply #5 - May 31^st, 2008 at 5:28pm except for Chucks comment on number 24 that is Charlotte.
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ClusterChuck CH.com Alumnus Offline The BEAST rises again, and again, and again, and . Posts: 5394 Greenville, North Carolina Gender:	Re: Dirt Roads and family values Reply #6 - May 31^st, 2008 at 5:46pm Linda_Howell wrote on May 31^st, 2008 at 5:28pm: except for Chucks comment on number 24 that is Charlotte. HEY!!! Don't you be picking on my sexy bod! If I remember correctly, it was quite a PLEASANT show stopper at a certain pool tournament that I was at! The nudist ...
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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: Dirt Roads and family values Reply #7 - May 31^st, 2008 at 6:34pm and for ever afterwards it has been Jayne's excuse for losing to me at pool. You get no cigar there, Chuckie-poo. I was there, remember? I couldn't look away fast enough. I was not to be distracted in my mission to win at that pool game. We raised 600.00 dollars for OUCH that night.
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