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DennisM1045

CH.com Alumnus

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One wave at a time!

Posts: 3437
Haverhill, Massachusetts, USA
Gender: male

My MIL Fran is finally at peace
Jun 3^rd, 2008 at 11:34pm

Well we're in the final stretch now. Hospice started coming mid week last week. The nurse said yesterday that Fran won't make my Son's wedding on the 21st. After sitting with her tonight I'll be surprised if she makes the weekend.

All the life is gone from here eyes. All the signs of the end are there. Those that have witnessed this last dance know what I'm talking about. It's only a question of what gets her first, a breach of the Aorta, kidney failure, COPD complications, ... It won't be long now...

While I was able to get away for my Son's bachelor party this weekend (see the thread in CH Specific) my wife was having a very difficult weekend here at home with morphine, atavan, ...

While the die is cast for Fran, please say a prayer for my wife Andrea. She's about at the end of her rope right now after having gone through this same thing with her Dad 2 and a half years ago. I see the same dedication, love and care being lavished this time too. But the still unhealed wounds left from her Dad have been wrent anew. This fresh wave of pain, grief and sadness threatens to overwhelm her. All I can do is watch and be there to pick up the pieces.

While caring for Fran, Andrea is also preping the house for a rehearsal dinner on the 14th. I don't know where she gets her strength. I just pray that there is something left of her when it's all said and done.

-Dennis-

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« Last Edit: Jun 9^th, 2008 at 7:16am by DennisM1045 »

Where there is life, there is hope.
Where there is Oxygen, you must use proper caution.
So be safe, don't smoke while using O2. Kill the pain and not yourself.

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nani CH.com Alumnus Offline Clusterbusters Posts: 8356 Los Lunas NM USA Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #1 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 12:28am All my prayers going out for Fran and the family, Dennis. Poor Andrea... maybe it's time to call in the troops, and give her a break. hugs, nani
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George CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Black-Billed Magpie Posts: 8126 Boise, Idaho USA Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #2 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 12:38am Having been through this sort of thing, Dennis, I know exactly what you mean. All my best to Andrea...and to you. From what I know of you folks, you will have the strength to get through what has to be. Best wishes, George
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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #3 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 1:04am So Sorry Dennis, all the love and prayers our family can muster to yours. Guiseppi
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LeLimey Ex Member	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #4 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 2:19am Oh Dennis, I'm so sorry. I'm absolutely lost for words but I'm thinking of you and Andrea and ALL your family and sending love Helen xxx
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mummymac CH.com Alumnus Offline Kissed Donny Osmond and proud of it Posts: 943 Jersey\|United_Kingdom\|europe Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #5 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 2:35am I do not have the right words to say what I feel, but all my best wishes are being sent for you all at this very bitter sweet time.
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sandie99 CH.com Hall of Famer Offline Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain! Posts: 11975 Finland Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #6 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 2:39am Dennis, I'm so sorry. Lots of prayers are on their way for Andrea, Fran and your whole family. Sanna
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purpleydog CH.com Alumnus Offline Posts: 2732	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #7 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 2:50am I'll be thinking of you and your family, especially Andrea. I understand how hard it is for her right now.
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Langa CH.com Alumnus Offline So many donuts, such little time... Posts: 4754 x0\|\|USA\|usa\|0\|0\|NJ,New_Jersey Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #8 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 6:08am I'm praying for you and your family that strength and comfort would blanket all of you during this time. Langa
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barry_sword CH.com Alumnus Offline Mountain Biking Keeps Me Sane Posts: 3947 Bracebridge, Canada Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #9 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 6:28am Dennis, prayers for Fran, and all the strength and power for your wife Andrea. She is going through the toughest of times right now. So sorry. Barry
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DonnaH_again Ex Member	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #10 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 6:29am This is just so very hard. Prayers being said.
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Jackie CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Go For It!!! Posts: 5903 Goshen, IN Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #11 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 6:39am This is such hard duty, Dennis....my heart goes out to all of you. Please know that you and your family are a constant in our thoughts and prayers. Love & Big Hugs, Jackie
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BarbaraD CH.com Alumnus Offline Hugs to ya Posts: 8333 Douglasville, TX Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #12 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 7:01am Dennis - love and prayers coming your way. Hugs BD
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy CH.com Alumnus Offline What Goes Around Comes Around! Posts: 4496 Georgetown,Ontario Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #13 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 7:50am Just walked this same road with my Mom 9 months ago. It's definitely one of the hardest things I've had to do so I truly send you prayers, love, and a wish for a peaceful passing for Fran. God will give you and Andrea the strength you need to deal with this. Hugs Carol
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midwestbeth Ex Member	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #14 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 8:13am Prayers going out for Fran, Andrea and your entire family Dennis. Beth
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Jeannie CH.com Sponsor Offline Live, Laugh, Love.... Posts: 2333 St Louis, Missouri Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #15 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 9:11am Prayers being said for Fran and the whole family. Jeannie
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artonio7

Ex Member

Re: My MIL Fran
Reply #16 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 3:09pm

Dennis thank you for keeping us posted. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family through this very sacred and difficult time. I can't think of a greater honor or privilege than caring for a parent or loved one during their final days.

Andrea the love and kindness you are showing your mom now will bless you a thousand times over. God will give you what you need.

with warm regards,
Tony

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Jonny Ex Member	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #17 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 3:25pm Count me in, bro!
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echo CH.com Alumnus Offline Chronic and still alive --- I Win! Posts: 4544 Overland Park, KS Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #18 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 4:07pm Sorry that you are all going through this. You will all be in my thoughts.
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Gator Ex Member	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #19 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 4:19pm Sorry to hear y'all are going through this, Dennis. Andrea and Fran and the rest of you are in my thoughts and prayers.
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TxBasslady CH.com Alumnus Offline Bass fishin' is a h00t It's the catchin' that sux Posts: 3230 Fishin' TEXAS Gender:	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #20 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 4:42pm Very sad....I'm so sorry. Jean
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Brew Ex Member	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #21 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 4:53pm Sorry to hear this, Dennis. Atavan and morphene can be a wonderful help in caring for the terminally ill. You and your wife are angels.
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DennisM1045

CH.com Alumnus

Offline

One wave at a time!

Posts: 3437
Haverhill, Massachusetts, USA
Gender: male

Re: My MIL Fran
Reply #22 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 5:58pm

Quote:

Sorry to hear this, Dennis. Atavan and morphene can be a wonderful help in caring for the terminally ill. You and your wife are angels.

At this point they are looking pretty attractive to the caregivers Wink

Thank you everyone for the prayers and and positive thoughts. I can feel your energy carrying us through the day.

The cavalry show up last night in the form of two of Andrea's sisters. They stayed through the night so Andrea could get some sleep. It was a long night for them and we are greatful for the help. Looks like it'll be all hands on deck till this is over. De Ja Vu all over again.

It's been a rough day. Fran continues her slow dance with the enevitable. The internal bleeding has begun. Her kidneys appear to have shut down.

Though there have been lucid moments and even a few weak smiles. She continues to ask to be brought to the living room. After a little while we have to bring her back again and she sleeps.

During one of those lucid moments this morning she asked where her Grandkids (my kids) were. I was bringing Emma (5) to my son Evan's house at the time but turned around and brought her back home. I guess she wants everyone close. Sometimes when we try to help we end up doing the opposite.

It's funny how different each of the little ones is reacting to the events unfolding around them. Kallen (10) wanted to show her his baseball team picture because, as he says, "I look like a stud". Liam (9) is closest to her is very angry at the world now. He and I have spent a lot of time talking this afternoon. Molly (6) is afraid to approach and stays on the opposite side of the room. Emma keeps drawing pictures for her and sticks close by her side.

There has been a constant parade of her children and grandchildren all saying their last goodbyes.

I'm rambling... Sorry... But if I don't write it down I'll bust...

-Dennis-

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Where there is life, there is hope.
Where there is Oxygen, you must use proper caution.
So be safe, don't smoke while using O2. Kill the pain and not yourself.

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LeLimey Ex Member	Re: My MIL Fran Reply #23 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 6:01pm I'm glad you can tell us hon, you have our thoughts with you every minute of the day. So much love to you all Helen
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Brew

Ex Member

Re: My MIL Fran
Reply #24 - Jun 4^th, 2008 at 6:11pm

Dennis - Please watch for the following. Many hospice workers have told us that a person will often wait to die until all of their family has left the room. Somewhere deep inside, they don't want to put them through that.

Sounds crazy, I know. But that's what my father-in-law did. He waited to let go until we had all gone to the living room.

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