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BMoneeTheMoneeMan CH.com Alumnus Offline In remembrance of KingCazman. RIP Posts: 2674 Portland, OR	*Re: Have some* teacher's lost their minds? Reply #25 - Jun 5^th, 2008 at 10:43pm Quote:** People sire or birth children and they automatically think they're parents. Exactly, bro. Sounds like you know my ex.........
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Brew Ex Member	*Re: Have some* teacher's lost their minds? Reply #26 - Jun 5^th, 2008 at 10:49pm BMoneeTheMoneeMan wrote on Jun 5^th, 2008 at 10:43pm: Quote:** People sire or birth children and they automatically think they're parents. Exactly, bro. Sounds like you know my ex......... No, but there are too many like her.
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cash5542 CH.com Hall of Famer Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 1243 x1\|Ocean Pines\|USA\|usa\|498\|141\|MD,Maryland Gender:	*Re: Have some* teacher's lost their minds? Reply #27 -** Jun 6^th, 2008 at 7:17am The problem happens even before they come out into the world. I'm a bit tired of teaching kids wih issues because of the things that hapened to the kids while they were in the womb. You can see the alchohol and drug abuse in their little faces. These are also not the parents we see at PTA usually. Charlotte
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deltadarlin

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #28 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 8:29am

Quote:

Charlotte,

I was with you right up to this:
Quote:

Economy has forced so many to work.

This is a cop out used by many. Allow me to fix it:
Quote:

Greed and lack of imagination have compelled so many to work.

Too many parents think that earning more money, providing the best house, food, clothing, etc. means they are being the best parents. Kids don't care about that shit. Even though they may not verbalize it, what they want is a mommy and a daddy. Ones that will show them how to have fun, how to love, laugh, cry, how to show up at the school party, how to be a human being.

It's too easy to blame "the economy" because it's impossible to prove.

I'm with ya on everything else.

I think I'm going to have to disagree here, in reference to both parents working. Not everyone can exist on one salary. Jimbo and I both HAD to work and it wasn't because we wanted anything *fancy* or the *best* of anything. Quite simply, we both worked because we liked to eat. You have to do what you have to do to survive.

Stay-at-home parents don't necessarily make the best parents either. I can give you numerous examples of stay at home parents whose parenting was no better than the parent who worked full time.

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TomM

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #29 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 8:41am

From the former teacher perspective....so many parents send thier kids to school every day for 12 years, do not get involved with what they do UNTIL the school calls them, and then **WONDER** why the kids' SAT score is low or why they are not graduating on time or why they must attend summer school. Kind of an extreme example here but the point is involvement.
Paige, I am NOT picking on you and you know me well enough to know that. I know your situation; leave it at that. I know your are involved. Here is what you can do. Make it the PRINCIPAL's problem. The school system will ignore anyone who does not pester them whether they are a high or low level learner child's parent. It does nto matter. If you do nt make a scene they go with the flow.
Paige, I am sure you **reamed** the teacher for suggesting a wrestlung magazine. At least my extra curricular books a magazine were on engineering, CAD, CAM, saftey feature of automobiles and the like.
Moving your son to another school is an option but remember that next year he has a different teacher so things could be different unless it's the principal.
My 2.5 cents.
TomM

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Paige_H.

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #30 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 8:50am

Oh this is ridiculous. I chose to have my child and I love him more than anything. Did I choose for his father to turn out the way he did - NO. I didn't drink or smoke while I was pregnant. I PAY to send him to a play therapist so that he can get rid of any issues he has. I do everything I possibly can for him. I DO HAVE TO WORK. I can't sit home bake cookies and clean the house - I don't get paid. I don't want to go on welfare because it truly sets a bad example for children. I am extremely creative, yet I can't figure out how to grow a money tree so that my child can eat and be clothed. Yes, I'm forced to work. And guess what else, not everyone can afford to take a day off. I can't! If I take a day off, I lose a day's pay that we need. Some people (even with 2 parents in the home) have to work. Hasn't anyone seen the cost of gas, bread, milk and clothing for a child? Not everyone works because of greed. I'm not a greedy person, money doesn't make a person happy, but it does put a roof over your head. Not everyone can monitor the teachers and schools, because we are trying our damn best to make sure that the child has a decent life.

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deltadarlin

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #31 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 9:04am

Paige_H. wrote on Jun 6^th, 2008 at 8:50am:

I can't sit home bake cookies and clean the house - I don't get paid.

No, you can't, but what about you the boy, baking cookies together for the class? Done at night or one the weekend?

Paige_H. wrote on Jun 6^th, 2008 at 8:50am:

Not everyone can monitor the teachers and schools, because we are trying our damn best to make sure that the child has a decent life.

I was pretty much with you until the last sentence. IMHO, monitoring what goes on in the school system is a critical part of making sure your kid has a decent life.

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Paige_H.

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What the hell?

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #32 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 9:27am

We always do things together in the evening and weekends. What apparently no one understands is that as a single mom I'm the only one providing anything for my child. I can't sit and monitor the damn school system, because I have to work to make a living for my child. I can't sit back and tell them what to do to make it all right. They are the teachers and educators - I'm not. If I have to do their jobs - who is going to do mine? I don't get child support, I don't get any support from the state - I do it all myself and apparently that isn't good enough. I guess what I should do is go on welfare and sit in his classroom to make sure the people getting paid are doing their jobs right? Do you have any clue how hard it is for someone to want to be with their child more, but they can't because it isn't affordable? Do you know what it is like to constantly have the closed minded people think you don't do enough? Do you have any clue what it is like when people see you are a single parent to ASSUME the child was born out of wedlock and that you are trashy? Because he wasn't! It is a constant battle for single parents - even for the single dads to fight with the people who believe in the white picket fence life. Well, the real world isn't so much like that. We make the best of what we have and go on. If I don't work, if I don't have paintings in the galleries to sell - then we don't eat, it is that simple. And by the way, I have one of the happiest boys in the world who thinks his mom is the best.

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Brew Ex Member	*Re: Have some* teacher's lost their minds? Reply #33 -** Jun 6^th, 2008 at 10:10am Looks like this topic has stirred up a few deeper issues.
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LeLimey

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #34 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 10:20am

Paige_H. wrote on Jun 6^th, 2008 at 9:27am:

...And by the way, I have one of the happiest boys in the world who thinks his mom is the best.

And that Paige, is what counts. It IS tough being a single parent, its downright bloody scary knowing that no matter what, you are the only adult who is there to look after your child and when you add CH into the mix it becomes an uphill struggle at times.

I too know what you mean about after working all day starting baking and all the associated clearning up can seem daunting but it's not about that is it? Quality time spent with your child, whether it's going to the park together, baking or whatever IS what counts. If we spend the few hours outside of work battling with schools or scouts or any other child orientated thing then who loses? You and your son that's who. It is a toss up sometimes, when you have X amount of hours a day and Y jobs to fill it, sometimes, inevitably, something has to give. It shouldn't be quality time with your son though.

I do have a suggestion that's worked for me, it may help you, it may not be practical but in no way is it a "judgement" thing! You know me and you know I support you all the way.

I have one friend who is also a single parent. We have developed a system whereby her kids will come to mine to play for a couple of hours giving her time to do jobs she needs to do without them around and vice versa.

The kids are happy, they have friends to visit/they're visiting friends. We're happy as we can get stuff done we don't need little ears tuning in to and everyone's a winner! That means one day a week for a couple of hours, I'll have someone else's kids and one day a week by the same stroke, I have none. It works for us! I'm also very lucky in that "my" schools are very willing to talk by phone or email or even in early morning/late afternoon/lunch hour. It is not that easy for everyone though.

Hang in there, you're doing a great job!

Helen

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cash5542

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #35 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 10:28am

Paige-This post was not meant to single you out. My first feelings were defensive because I am so tired of new teachers being crticized and teachers being faulted for not doing enough. Parents blame the teachers and the teachers blame parents. I am honestly tired of this and it doesn't improve the situation. There are many teachers that shouldn't be here and many parents that should have thought before having kids. But, there are also MANY great parents and teachers, all doing their jobs. Guess what? I am in the schools full time and I still can't make a change. I do the best I can with what I have. The government makes us do things (ie testing, heterogeneous grouping) that we know in our heart are the wrong things for our kids. I have worked with principals that are unreasonable and unable to control their schools. I just don't get it. We try harder, reduce class sizes, put more mandates, and put more money into education. We teach morals and creative thinking, AP classes and we still aren't getting anywhere.

Charlotte
PS My suggestion to bake cookies was that it is something that can be done off hours, doesn't require taking off work and the kids love it. I have no clue what your schedule is but again, I want to encourage anyone to attend PTA. The meetings are held when most people aren't working.

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« Last Edit: Jun 6^th, 2008 at 10:31am by cash5542 »

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Jeannie

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Re: Have *some* teacher's lost their minds?
Reply #36 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 10:47am

Well............ I tried my best to stay out of this but here I am!

Paige, it is very obvious how much you love your son and how hard you work to provide for him. Being mom and dad is a hard job......financially, physically, and emotionally. People do have to work to provide for their children, even in a two parent home. My hat goes off to you for all that you do to make sure that you are raising a well balanced, happy, secure son! I have no doubt that your son thinks you are the greatest!

My husband and I met at Missouri School f/t Blind. We worked in the Multi-handicapped Deaf/Blind department. We got married and decided to have children so I quit to stay home and raise our kids. I soon became aware that I needed to have some sort of income to help pay our bills. I began offering in home care for other children to provide extra income. This is where I began to see what others on this thread are talking about.

I have seen parents let me raise their children just for the sake of driving the best cars, dressing in the best clothes, having the best and biggest house, ect. I have been asked to allow the children to stay over night after they have already been with me me for ten hours just so the parents can have "me" time. I have seen parents bring their children to me on days off and through entire vacations because they are really not interested in spending time with their kids. BTW, I do not charge them if their kids are not here. If this is any indication of how interested they will be when their kids are in school, no wonder there are problems. Some parents expect everyone else to raise their kids for them!

Jeannie's Smiley

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TomM CH.com Hall of Famer Offline Posts: 2133 Montgomery Village, MD, USA Gender:	*Re: Have some* teacher's lost their minds? Reply #37 - Jun 6^th, 2008 at 12:06pm Quote: Paige_H. wrote on Jun 6^th, 2008 at 9:27am: ...And by the way, I have one of the happiest boys in the world who thinks his mom is the best. And that Paige, is what counts. DITTO.**
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