My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight began........



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.”

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight began…......



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight began.......



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.  The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age.  I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet
at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my chest.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants.You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight began.........



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight began.......



I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.  You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was one of those little people.

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight began.......

LMAO, that's a good one 

Good one, thanks.