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MPMIII CH.com Veteran Offline Posts: 112 Alabama Gender:	All this talk of leaving... Nov 21^st, 2008 at 6:58pm seem's to me that alot of folks have thin skin. Take what you can from the board and leave the rest.
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Rolomatic

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #1 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 7:23pm

MPMIII wrote on Nov 21^st, 2008 at 6:58pm:

seem's to me that alot of folks have thin skin. Take what you can from the board and leave the rest.

MPMIII, you sir have great wisdom and are exhibiting it well!

I can not speak for others here but as for me, I am still healing from the election cycle and the fallout of yet another close election. I fear by the time I have come to accept the current outcome, it will be starting all over again.

Still healing,

Roland. Cheesy

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MITYRARE

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #2 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 7:29pm

MPMIII wrote on Nov 21^st, 2008 at 6:58pm:

seem's to me that alot of folks have thin skin. Take what you can from the board and leave the rest.

I agree 100%
This is the internet afterall....there is great value in this forum....however, it is easy to take things the wrong way on a written one dimensional communication such as this, and one must take what they can, contribute what they may, and be as open as they feel comfortable all the while knowing that a shot from cyberspace can come at any time from anyone...that is the risk of the internet. Thank goodness most people on here are caring, giving and empathetic to the needs of those dealing with this terrible affliction....I have lurked on this site for years and only recently started to post...gave myself time to know the personalities on the site....who was genuine, who was sarcastic and who may come across as abrupt or mean spirited in my opinion....pretty well all seemed easier to deal with than family!!!!
keep up the good dialogue folks

Paul

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« Last Edit: Nov 21^st, 2008 at 7:30pm by MITYRARE »

Paul
"car crazy"

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Garys_Girl

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #3 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 7:53pm

MPMIII wrote on Nov 21^st, 2008 at 6:58pm:

seem's to me that alot of folks have thin skin. Take what you can from the board and leave the rest.

Yes, and it's made pretty clear the forums are not policed! However, I will say that I think that just as the pain and frustration or daily wear of CH can make people "crankier" than they might otherwise be, I believe it can also make people feel more vulnerable - or thin skinned - than they might otherwise feel.

Laurie

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This is enough already

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CH-HELL

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #4 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:07pm

These headaches can bring even the strongest of souls to there knees, kicking someone while they are down is wrong!! I have no problem bashing a TROLL but when someone is in pain and looking for help and support it is wrong, these headaches are called suicide headaches for a reason. If you havn't been brought to your knees by your headaches maybe you dont have clusters.

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Rolomatic

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #5 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:13pm

Quote:

These headaches can bring even the strongest of souls to there knees, kicking someone while they are down is wrong!! I have no problem bashing a TROLL but when someone is in pain and looking for help and support it is wrong, these headaches are called suicide headaches for a reason. If you havn't been brought to your knees by your headaches maybe you dont have clusters.

Bravo!!!!!! Cool

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pubgirl CH.com Hall of Famer Offline The next person who calls it a migraine eats teeth Posts: 693 x0\|London\|United_Kingdom\|\|0\|0\| Gender:	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #6 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:25pm MPMIII wrote on Nov 21^st, 2008 at 6:58pm: seem's to me that alot of folks have thin skin. Take what you can from the board and leave the rest. I think some people might be talking about rather more than just a few rude posts/pms. Thankfully you obviously haven't been on the receiving end of any W the B
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Guiseppi

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #7 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:32pm

I've been a cop for 29 years so my skin's so thick it's leathery! My fear is, there are sensitive people out there who ARE easily chased away by the more....abrupt...posters on the board. If we chase just one person away from the board who otherwise might have benefitted, does it make it any less sadder if we can say, "Aw they were thin skinned wimps who couldn't take the heat." Just a thought.

Guiseppi

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"Somebody had to say it" is usually a piss poor excuse to be mean.

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Rolomatic Ex Member	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #8 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:33pm pubgirl wrote on Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:25pm: [quote author=1C011C181818510 link=1227311883/0#0 date=1227311883]W the B That’s W the Beautiful right?
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pubgirl CH.com Hall of Famer Offline The next person who calls it a migraine eats teeth Posts: 693 x0\|London\|United_Kingdom\|\|0\|0\| Gender:	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #9 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:38pm I WISH Bob Pahlow's mugshots will tell you differently! modified to add: Lost Bob's page- it's gone!
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Just Plain Carl CH.com Old Timer Offline IT IS WHAT IT IS Posts: 449 Royal Oak, Michigan Gender:	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #10 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 8:40pm right on Phil.
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MPMIII

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #11 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 9:30pm

The reason I come to this board is to know that there are others. We all come from different walks of life, but share one common bond. The pain. This god awful pain that can bring us to our knees. As much as I have tried, I am unable to explain "a clusterheadache" and what it encompasses. So here I am, with folks that I don't have to explain it to. You already know.

I've been here for over a year now, and have yet to come across someone on the board that would not be willing to help another in need. We know the drill, how miserable it can be and this alone is enough. Enough to help in any way that we can.

Hell, I'm even thinking about going to the convention, just to actually meet someone who knows about this hell. Might even drag my wife with me so she can be assured that I am not the only headbanger out there. Wishing every one pain free time.

Regards,

Malcom

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Jimi

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #12 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 10:07pm

Quote:

My fear is, there are sensitive people out there who ARE easily chased away by the more....abrupt...posters on the board. If we chase just one person away from the board who otherwise might have benefitted, does it make it any less sadder if we can say, "Aw they were thin skinned wimps who couldn't take the heat." Just a thought.

Well you have me beat by 2 years. Good lord, how old were you when you started......15?

Anyway, what you say is true. Timid or shy people that might finally get up the courage to discuss this affliction that they have, that no one understands, deserve better then being corrected or ridiculed just because they didn't say it exactly right. It ain't right no matter how long we have been on here or what we have done in the past.
And that goes for me or anyone else.

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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

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pubgirl

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #13 - Nov 21^st, 2008 at 10:10pm

Jimi wrote on Nov 21^st, 2008 at 10:07pm:

Quote:

My fear is, there are sensitive people out there who ARE easily chased away by the more....abrupt...posters on the board. If we chase just one person away from the board who otherwise might have benefitted, does it make it any less sadder if we can say, "Aw they were thin skinned wimps who couldn't take the heat." Just a thought.

Well you have me beat by 2 years. Good lord, how old were you when you started......15?

Anyway, what you say is true. Timid or shy people that might finally get up the courage to discuss this affliction that they have, that no one understands, deserve better then being corrected or ridiculed just because they didn't say it exactly right. It ain't right no matter how long we have been on here or what we have done in the past.
And that goes for me or anyone else.

SO agree Jimi

W

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BarbaraD

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #14 - Nov 22^nd, 2008 at 6:57am

Going to a convention is great - you should - as should everyone. But if you get a chance to MEET another CHer for lunch, a drink, coffee or any other reason - DO IT! Trust me - you will NOT be meeting a stranger (average 5 seconds and you'll think you've known the person all your life - don't know why, but it's just that way).

I've watched this board grow over the years (since 98) and people get their feelings hurt and leave and have never understood why. We've had so many different personalities here that occasionally someone is going to say something that's going to start a free for all and to my way of thinking - it just clears out the cobwebs. When it's over - the dust clears and everyone laughs about it and we go to something else.

The political threads are for fun.... of course everyone has a different opinion and they get heated (the coffee shop gets "loud" when politics are brought up). Take it with a grain of salt or skip the whole thread if you're gonna get upset about it....

If you get PMs that upset you, block the sender (there's a way to do that). IGNORE it -- and yes, I understand we're hurting and that we're sensitive and all that, but this is a place we all come for help and there's enough people here to give help that we can ignore the ones who we don't think are helping.

Let's face it kids, if we're regular posters here - at one time or another we're gonna type something that someone is gonna take offense at! We might not have meant it the way they take it, but trust me someone will pick something out of it and take it the wrong way. It's just the nature of people. But we have a choice to get upset or to let it go.... I've usually chosen the path of "letting it go" and going on to something else. Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally for any reason, so .... And it's the same with most of the regular posters here - the ones who are being slammed right now for their "abrupt" posts.

So instead of getting your panties in a wad -- Just Take What You Need and Leave the Rest...

Hugs BD

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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stronger!

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Bob Johnson

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Re: All this talk of leaving...
Reply #15 - Nov 22^nd, 2008 at 8:24am

Part of a message I posted on another site about dealing with uncivil people & messages:

"5. I'd suggest that you work from a position of "intelligent selfishness", that is, don't read or respond to people who you find troublesome or offensive. I suspect that most of us can get the tone of a message from reading a few words. If it's going in the wrong direction, scroll past/delete it. "Selfishness" says, don't read the whole thing and think about a response for this will only arouse distress or some level of internal upset. Responding won't change the other person and your effort will add to your frustration. "Selfishness" says, engage with those who are civil, don't encourage the uncivil by responding to them.

"6. This is not an argument for avoiding differences of fact. An all male group (on the subject of prostate cancer--talk about a subject for passion) I belong to often has intense debates. For the most part, they are based on medical information, informed judgments, and wrestling with evaluations of medical information. Intense, but generally respectful.

"Problems arise when the issue moves from the issue to the person. Folks who personalize, either what others write or what they say in response, will tend to move into interpersonal conflict. The best single way to avoid uncivility is to use discipline is keeping your words/thoughts on the topic, not on the other person's motives, intentions, etc. (A disadvantage of electronic communications is that it allows for impulsive behavior. Self-discipline, or an attitude of civility, would be served by typing the message, then putting into the "drafts" box until you cool down. It's interesting how many of my messages don't make it past this point!)"

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Bob Johnson

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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #16 - Nov 22^nd, 2008 at 12:05pm Damnit Bob I wish I had your gift of eloquence. Guiseppi
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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #17 - Nov 22^nd, 2008 at 12:28pm Bob Pahlows picture page is still around Wendy. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to or
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Melissa CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't give up! Posts: 7238 Central WI, USA Gender:	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #18 - Nov 22^nd, 2008 at 12:43pm Linda_Howell wrote on Nov 22^nd, 2008 at 12:28pm: Bob Pahlows picture page is still around Wendy. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to or Oh wow Linda, what a trip down memory lane...
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pubgirl CH.com Hall of Famer Offline The next person who calls it a migraine eats teeth Posts: 693 x0\|London\|United_Kingdom\|\|0\|0\| Gender:	Re: All this talk of leaving... Reply #19 - Nov 22^nd, 2008 at 6:44pm Thanks Linda!!!!! You are a total star!! Don't know how I lost that link but it is priceless getting it back and seeing the photos again. We were all mostly a bit younger then, and probably thinner! (sigh) W the B amended to add: was happy, now sad as looking at faces and names again, there are too many MIA's.
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