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New CH.com Forum › Supporter's Corner › Supporter's Corner › Help me to stop my mother from worrying!

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Help me to stop my mother from worrying! (Read 2515 times)

Martin

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Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Sep 21^st, 2009 at 11:36am

Hello All,

I'm a CH sufferer and only 22 years. Thanks to this site I know I'll know where I'll have a lifetime of friends who understand what I go through! (although I'm sad to hear they never really go away)

I just want some advice for my mother. She loves me to death and is in tears and stressed over my CHs. What can I do to help her? See her worrry is almost as bad as the headaches. Since I know they wont stop, what can do to help her. I hate seeing her helpless, worried look during one of my attacks cause I have to tell her to leave me alone, that she can't help. And that's the worst pain for her, I know it. What can I do?

I'm seeing a doctor (today), hope to get some abortives or preventatives and am going to push for the 02. That should ease her worries...

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Cathi_Pierce

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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #1 - Sep 21^st, 2009 at 12:49pm

Martin, Moms are like that. They worry about their children, and you can't stop that. That said, there are some things you can do as a CH sufferer to ease her pain.
Most important. please make sure she knows, CH will NOT kill you! You may feel "at the brink".exhausted, in pain and desperate to DO something about the pain....but communicate this to her! Ask her to help you when you are getting hit. Tell her specifically what you NEED-ie ice, complete alone time, understanding of what is going on.....it would be MOST helpful if she were to come here and read what others sufferers and supporters had to say. Knowledge IS power-the more you and she understand about CH, the more accepting you can be!
See your Neuro....... part of helping Mom-and you-cope is a good Neuro and you are right on track. Get the 02! That should likely be your first line of defense. Then, work toward a prevent.
Let Mom know you are strong-ALL Clusterheads are strong, and let her know you are going to take control of the beast!
Many sufferers have said they don't know which is worse, suffering the pain, or watching their loved ones in such pain.
Please keep us posted, Martin, let us know how you are doing, and give Mom a big hug and kiss. Knowledge, understanding and a refusal to let CH take over your life will help you BOTH cope with this nasty affliction!
Wishing you PF!
Cathi

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Lefty

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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #2 - Sep 21^st, 2009 at 2:54pm

Cathi_Pierce wrote on Sep 21^st, 2009 at 12:49pm:

CH will NOT kill you!

I think Cathi has summed it up in those 5 words Martin. You must reassure your mum although they are painful they will not do us any long lasting physical damage.

I'm sure that I speak for most members on the board and that you should find a place at home so you can do your little dance in private. Most importantly though, get yourself sorted with a proper prevent and abortive and your mum will be able to see how manageable these faking things are...

Good luck...!

Lefty..!

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And your horse has also ran,
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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #3 - Sep 21^st, 2009 at 3:50pm

Martin - welcome to the group that nobody wants to have to be a member of!

Perhaps you should invite your mom here! She can hang with out us in the supporters corner, and as she feels she can, even help us coach the newbies that come along.

We're here to help sufferers, and supporters. Let us know if she would like to speak with one of us - a number of us would be willing to call her, trade emails, whatever. It is frustrating watching someone you love in pain.

Christy (another supporter)

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Jackie

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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #4 - Sep 21^st, 2009 at 5:01pm

Hello Martin.
Like your Mom, I'm a supporter. My husband Blake has been a chronic CHer for many years.

You've been given some great advice, Sweetie.
Making sure your Mom knows that CH is not a terminal illness is important.

Moms are natural worriers. We can't fix that completely. Just make sure she knows you can and will handle it.

Bringing her here to talk to some of us is also a good idea.

Good Luck, Sweetie...
Jackie

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Martin

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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #5 - Sep 21^st, 2009 at 5:44pm

Thanks Jackie, Christy, Lefty, Cathi, and everybody. Couldn't have asked for better advice, but I guess that's what this msg board is here for!

I've sent her to this site now, and am working with my doctor for proper therapy on these CHs. Need to work on the oxygen and also injectable triptans instead of these pills (one is a soluble wafer, but that still isn't straight into my bloodstream). But now she has a place where she knows she's not alone.

This means so much, as I live in Canada where we are separated by 1500km. This could help her tremendously...

« Last Edit: Sep 21^st, 2009 at 5:45pm by Martin »

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JustNotRight

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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #6 - Sep 21^st, 2009 at 9:42pm

Take it from a Mother, Martin we Never Stop worrying Grin

But with knowledge and time her worries should ease some, I know this 1st hand as I raised a son that had severe migraines diagnosed at age 2 and I worried A LOT! Now he's almost 21 and still getting them as well as an odd CH hit now and then. I still worry and feel bad for him in advance if the CH gets as bad as mine when he's older.

Enough of my rambling, send your mom over here and have her do some reading and chatting with us, we'll do what we can to ease her worry.

PFDAN to You!

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cash5542

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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #7 - Oct 20^th, 2009 at 10:50pm

I haven't looked at this site in awhile and am so sorry I missed this. I am very much like your mother.My daughter is 24 and came down with CH at 21. Anyone that knows me here can tell you I was a basket case!!! With time, understanding of this condition and support from this wonderfu board, it got easier. Yeah I still worry much more than I should but I think I have it in control. If your mom wants to talk with me or email please send her to me. It's really hard cause you're not a child anymore but those apron strings are so hard to cut when we see such pain.

Charlotte

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Re: Help me to stop my mother from worrying!
Reply #8 - Nov 9^th, 2009 at 11:15am

my mom played it pretty good when i was a kid. back then we didn't have all this information available to us via the internet. so mom spent allot of time at the library and spent countless hours taking me to doctors and the dentist. i dunno how she did it but her emotions never over took her. still one of my best supporters.

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