Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and the day started w/ nothing to be thankful for...Yesterday started w/ a visit to the emergency ward. My husband in dire pain drove himself there...after saying he can't live this way anymore and that he wanted to die.  Crying/crushed and not knowing how to help I came back to this board and started looking for something....and found Jackie's eloquent post "Another kind of pain...". Like others I read it and cried. It helped me to pick myself up and know that family time would help normalize the weirdness that has become our lives. A call to alert the family we would be late for dinner and to finally explain the depth of my husbands situation to one sister-in-law actually brought some relief for me.

I believe the holiday exacerbated his pain and anger, he realized how "in jail" he is from this monster. The anger comes from the pain, and the fear of this disease and running out of pain meds, and having people see him in pain and weak, and fustration w/ insurance companies and he is angry with me because I'm the only other person around. My nature is to try to fix everything, but as we all know I can't fix this....I can only try to get out his way when the pain and anxiety comes, give him comfort if he wants it, not react when he gets irritable when I ask if he wants anything, comfort the animals who get so upset w/ his moaning and screaming. The tenseness that comes over the household w/ the first "stab" behind his eye and the slow animal like moan is palpable. I don't have a good poker face. I don't complain however, I do what I can do to make our life as active and normal as possible. I remain as level and calm as I can be during the crisis times. He knows what this is doing to our life, and that makes him even more angry. However, he is the type who doesn't usually try to change or fix. He would rather walk away or "end it". That to me is unacceptable and makes me sad in my soul. So I gather information, make calls to our insurance prescription companies, the doctor's offices, the pharmacys, research online, study, print every important fact for future reference. Call me an enabler, but I don't see any other way than to abandon him, and I'd rather die than do that. I don't take no for an answer, I keep digging and fighting and try to play all my cards right. At times I"m tired, feel beaten and hurt. Yesterday seemed hopeless, today not so much. With a few phone calls today I believe I have information that entitles us to 6 more Zomig tablets, and the sumatriptan injectables (3 month supply) should be arriving Monday, and there is a prior authorization for Zomig sprays being put thru to hopefully enable us to get more when needed. I feel I am more educated on all of this than our CVS pharmacy and our union health care support staff. Shame on them.

Monday will bring a call to doctors to schedule an appt. Reading the doses that others are taking of Verapamil and Amytriptaline make me realize my husband is on extremely low doses and could be/should be upped on his dosage. And I'll inquire about the O2 therapy. So with a little help from some "friends" I go on to fight the monsters another day, and feel better for having you all. Hoping I can get my "such a guy" of a husband to read some of the sufferers posts so that he too knows we're not alone. And hoping a supporter at their wits end will read my post and go on to fight another day for their loved one. So Happy Thanksgiving, Good thoughts and painless days/nights to you all.

DSW as both a sufferer and a supporter myself - Thank you. I'm sat here with tears running down my face reading your post.

If you can, get your hubby to come here, we'll help you both. CH is an evil condition, it destroys lives and we're damned if we'll let it without doing all we can to help.

Anytime you need to vent or you need info or just a hug, we're here. I can't tell you how much we value people like you who care and fight in spite of the horrible pain it causes you too, the emotional trauma is not to be sniffed at. I know.

I am REALLY looking forward to getting to know you better!

Helen

DSW, you are wonderful!

All - thanks for the words of kindness and support. On a drive on Friday, I read some of the printouts from this site and Cluster Buster remedies to my Hubby. He listened, asked questions, seemed interested in some of the other sufferers "odd but amazing" success stories and agreed anything is worth trying. (woohoo!) Told him he should explore the site, join the board to connect w/ the other sufferers. He seemed amazed to know there is a world wide community out there. I believe he is ready for the "work" we have ahead of us, that we have to continue to question and challenge and request what we want/need. Our will is stronger. We will keep our new cyber family posted. Thank you. peace to you all. 

It will all come together for him to know. To know, that he isn't the only one who suffers with this pain.  People all over the world (even in Alaska  ) are united here, this forum, talk and share our stories & remedies.  He too can become a "supporter", some one here might learn a lot from him, and or get through another day because of him.
Keep us posted.  Much love to you both!
Angela

A HUGE WHOOHOO!!!

So glad you are having progress.

Did you know or try Melatonin?  It's a natural sleep aid and many, I mean many of us use it.  I do! Every night in cycle, 9mg.  That is kinda on the low side too.  Some are up to 15mg plus.  You can't OD on it, I accidentally tried...

Yes...Keep the V in check.  I am also normal to low in BP.  I am at 320mg a day.  7am,Noon,5pm,10pm of 80mg tablets.  I sometimes take one at 2am, if need be.  But, I too, get fluttery of the heart.  Take all precautions, nobody is exactly the same in this disease.

Get O2!!  I can't, nor can the rest of us stress that enough.  It is safe, no side effects, and universaly the best way to abort the onset of a headache.
I can get a prescription of O2, but where I live, there is no facility to have it filled.  The hospital here gets it from a certified "hospital" standard facility in Seattle, WA.  I can't buy it, or fill the rx from the hospital.  So, my wonderful husband Frank, picks up a big bottle (as big as me) from the welding yard in town.  About $53, we have a 15lpm regulator and I get a free pre-wrapped non-re-breather mask from the hospital to use.

Thanks for the prayer from the nephew! What a little gentleman.  I pray thankfulness for him.

Angela