Altered your brain chemistry? I highly doubt it. made you on edge and grumpy because you hurt all the time? Yeah......pretty good chance.

But just to play the devil's advocate a little.......kids aren't beyond messing with you a little. A friend of ours called almost in tears because her 6 year old daughter told her, "all you ever do is say no!" We told her...that's kind of a parents job....it makes us highly unpopular at times.

Dont beat yourself up too much, parenting is hard. I suspect there will be no huge counseling bills in 20 years to worry about. Just take it as one of those gentle reminders we get now and then.

Joe

Kids' attention spans are about as long as your pinky nail. Hug 'em, kiss 'em, tell 'em you love 'em. And maybe make a little more effort not to let your personal hell affect them. Sometimes we need to compensate a little.

Once they get a little older, they'll reach the age of reason where true empathy starts to develop. Then they'll understand a little better why dad is a little on edge. As long as you reiterate to them that they're not the cause of it.

Good point ,thanks Brew

Thanks Art

I'll second what Brew said (cuz his son is my son, too!).

Being an only child, JrBrew (or Micro-brew  ) can be pretty self centered. 

Being the son of a clusterhead has taught him that the self-centered business doesn't cut it.  There are a lot of clusterheads here who have met him and know him to be compassionate and empathetic to their plight.  He even plays Chuck's horrific getting-hit video for his friends and tells them about CH so if they ever see his dad in that state, not to worry, we have it covered. 

There were plenty of times when we had to leave a movie, or a game, or an event due to dad getting hit and there were indeed outbursts from young son about "unfairness."  What kid doesn't think it's unfair that his needs don't come first?  It's just part of life's lessons, and watching a parent (or any loved one) struggle with chronic pain is a valuable, valuable lesson.

Maybe the cosmos afflicted Brew with this evil beast for a greater purpose than to watch him writhe in pain . . . . .just a thought. 

Brew wrote on Aug 21^st, 2010 at 8:46pm:


lol!  Great advice!
And I love the title/name "micro-brew" Excellent!

And, really Nigel, your kids are clothed, fed, hugged, supported, etc.  I know lots of kids who have had a lot less and have done just fine...  Hug them, kiss them, give them a bit extra positive attention when you are having a good day.  We're parents - it's in the job description to worry - but, they're going to be OK...

Ok Linda  . Now there was an angry dad 

Thank dude

God bless

Nigel

sorry I tend to use it just as a turn of frase , how about dudess? 

In our family, the correct, gender based form of dude in relating to the fairer sex is "dudette!"

Joe

I remember my girls getting upset when Joe was in cycle and commenting what an "AH" is can be etc. What the girls and I repeat to each other now is, "it's the headache talking". I think we got that off of a Grey's Anatomy episosde. At any rate, there is no denying that when Guiseppi is sleep deprived and under the influence of his CH treatment meds that he can be a little "edgy" if not down right "cranky". But I also know how much he loves us and I can see how hard he tries not to be a "AH" even though he's suffering.

Once the girls were old enough to really understand his condition and treatment they actually joined in on "can I get you some ice Dad?" or to now bringing him the red bull when we see "Olivia" the O2 tank come out of her hiding place.

Hang in there Nigel. Maybe you can so something special for the kids while you tell them you love them, and thank them for their support when you hurt.

Hugs.

Nigel,
Everyone has spoken the truth here.  My daughter is 26 and there was a time (when she was about 3 or so) that I was working split shifts and she was at home with daddy.  He remembers her taking care of him, she has absolutely no memory of that time.  She also doesn't remember the *bad* times (except in a few instances where I had to take Jimbo to the emergency room and she got to stay with the neighbors).

Kids are resilient.  If they weren't, they'd come with better instruction booklets.

Carolyn

Instructions ???? as a carpenter I now know that the first thing you do is put the instructions to one side and get on with it and just use them as a reference ,you know the old adage " if you can't get over it get out of it "  not really possible with kids tho , but many have tried to write instruction books for kids and failed miserably 

any how like you have all said , I should talk to them and let them know that I'm not turning into a monster and that it's not their fault.

Guss this is what comes of trying to keep a lid on things and pretending I'm OK . s'pose that was never going to work was it .

Some times trying not to expose your kids to bad and painful stuff can really have an adverse effect on them, I guess I should have known that .

God bless you all

Nigel