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primetime

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Re: CH + Depression?
Reply #25 - Nov 3^rd, 2010 at 2:55pm

I think things really vary from cycle to cycle. Speaking personally, I'm in the midst of the longest, toughest cycle I've ever had and I'm having a really tough time getting through the day to day stuff.

Work, family etc all take a little more out of you when you're getting hit 6 times a day. Then I get upset with myself because my job performance suffers or I think that I'm not being as good of a father to my little girl as I know I can be; that's depressing.

As has already been said in the thread, try to live in between hits but there are times where it's harder then others.

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"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Gator Bill

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Re: CH + Depression?
Reply #26 - Nov 3^rd, 2010 at 6:29pm

primetime wrote on Nov 3^rd, 2010 at 2:55pm:

I think things really vary from cycle to cycle. Speaking personally, I'm in the midst of the longest, toughest cycle I've ever had and I'm having a really tough time getting through the day to day stuff.

Work, family etc all take a little more out of you when you're getting hit 6 times a day. Then I get upset with myself because my job performance suffers or I think that I'm not being as good of a father to my little girl as I know I can be; that's depressing.

As has already been said in the thread, try to live in between hits but there are times where it's harder then others.

I hear you loud & clear, having just come out of the worst 12 months in my 30 year CH career. The depressing thoughts of how the beast is limiting and diminishing our quality of life and capabilities are almost inevitable.

However, my Dad had CHs and I could talk to you for hours about him and never mention it. It was a non-factor in our relationship. I believe it would be the same for my kids who are now in college. Yes, there have been things I could not do occassionally or events I had to abruptly exit but I don't beleive they would think to mention CHs when describing me (they might mention my many other faults, lol).

By mentioning your daughter, I am sure you are a great Father. Same with your concern about your job, etc.

The great thing about us clusterheads is that we are so smart and good that even at 80% we are better than most at 100%!

Hang tough...this too shall come to pass!

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Katie C. CH.com Junior Offline Posts: 44 Northeast Ohio Gender:	Re: CH + Depression? Reply #27 - Nov 3^rd, 2010 at 6:54pm Gator Bill wrote on Nov 3^rd, 2010 at 6:29pm: The great thing about us clusterheads is that we are so smart and good that even at 80% we are better than most at 100%! I know that's right!!!
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jared

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Re: CH + Depression?
Reply #28 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 6:06am

Old post I know, but I have similar issues with depression after my episodes. I have suffered for 6 years, especially THIS one. I find that I may be depressed up to a month after I get the attack aborted. Which sucks because lately it's only waited about 2-3 weeks lately to come back! I don't think post episodic depression is uncommon and probably stem, at least for me, from the dread and loathing of knowing that I will be back to the grindstone soon.

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Shuli

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Re: CH + Depression?
Reply #29 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 9:05am

I completely agree, the dread of the devil's return is definitely a big part of the depression.

Even this morning waking up, for whatever reason, I found myself in a position very reminiscent of how I would lay before an attack (arms around my head and crouched) and I quickly remembered the nightmare. It feels like it's never far away.

I hope you don't hit the grindstone too soon, Jared.

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primetime

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Re: CH + Depression?
Reply #30 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 10:54am

Gator Bill wrote on Nov 3^rd, 2010 at 6:29pm:

primetime wrote on Nov 3^rd, 2010 at 2:55pm:

I think things really vary from cycle to cycle. Speaking personally, I'm in the midst of the longest, toughest cycle I've ever had and I'm having a really tough time getting through the day to day stuff.

Work, family etc all take a little more out of you when you're getting hit 6 times a day. Then I get upset with myself because my job performance suffers or I think that I'm not being as good of a father to my little girl as I know I can be; that's depressing.

As has already been said in the thread, try to live in between hits but there are times where it's harder then others.

I hear you loud & clear, having just come out of the worst 12 months in my 30 year CH career. The depressing thoughts of how the beast is limiting and diminishing our quality of life and capabilities are almost inevitable.

However, my Dad had CHs and I could talk to you for hours about him and never mention it. It was a non-factor in our relationship. I believe it would be the same for my kids who are now in college. Yes, there have been things I could not do occassionally or events I had to abruptly exit but I don't beleive they would think to mention CHs when describing me (they might mention my many other faults, lol).

By mentioning your daughter, I am sure you are a great Father. Same with your concern about your job, etc.

The great thing about us clusterheads is that we are so smart and good that even at 80% we are better than most at 100%!

Hang tough...this too shall come to pass!

I appreciate the kind words.

I can't even begin to express how grateful I am that I found this board. I don't post often but read the board daily, both in and out of cycles.

This community truly is a god-send.

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"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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devinoshin CH.com Newbie Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 2 milwaukee Gender:	Re: CH + Depression? Reply #31 - Nov 9^th, 2010 at 3:02pm i know deep depression is coming after my cycle. very strange to know this huge wave of depression is coming. post traumatic stress.
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Bob Johnson CH.com Alumnus Offline "Only the educated are free." -Epictetus Posts: 5965 Kennett Square, PA (USA) Gender:	Re: CH + Depression? Reply #32 - Nov 10^th, 2010 at 2:44pm This is a fuller/better discussion on the nature of depression and it's various presentations than I posted on page 1. See PDF file, below.
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dkfreese

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Re: CH + Depression?
Reply #33 - Nov 15^th, 2010 at 10:39am

I was very interested this morning to find this thread on the board. I've had CH since age 16 so been battling episodes for 25 years. Never had issues with depression until after the birth of my first child. Interestingly, never had an episode of CH during pregnancy or breast-feeding which got me to thinking about the hormonal aspects of CH on which there are some great threads on this board. I'm also just coming off one of the longest and worst cycles I've ever had (heard that quite a bit on this thread and wondering why so many of us are saying it??). Anyway, to get back on track, since finding this board (I concur with you all that it has been a life-saver!!) I've been wondering about the connection between hormones, depression, and CH. Seems to be a lot of similar body chemistry involved starting at the hypothalamus. My depression did not start with CH though but was post-partum (although looking back maybe you could consider post-partum as PTSD!!).

Sorry for the ramble - been pain free for 9 days now and am high on life making me a little goofy! Going to start a new thread on how do you know when a cluster is over. I woke up last Wednesday and I just knew it was over (no pain, felt like a weight had been lifted, and no longer overly sensitive to bright sunlight), after having relentless shadows all day Tuesday, it seemed like a miracle. I've never experienced this before and was wondering if anyone else had?

Thanks for all the support!

Karen

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wimsey1 CH.com Alumnus Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 2457 MA Gender:	Re: CH + Depression? Reply #34 - Nov 16^th, 2010 at 8:25am Before going chronic, yes, I did know when the cycle was over. No shadows, no pressure, no "buzzing" around my nose...until the cycle came back again that is. Congratulations on 9 pf days...may they last forever! lance
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