I haven't posted in awhile. I just logged on to read and vent and feel the support of the CH community.

It took months to get my BF weaned off of his Verap safely. Lasted a week and then high cycle came back with a vengeance. Around 5-6 a day, half of them 9s or 10s. So back on the Verap with the Pred taper and nothing's changed. Making an appointment at a headache clinic 3 hours from here, but in the meantime, what hurts me the most - more than having to see him suffer the pain - is watching the emotional toll it takes on him. Losing joy. Living in fear of the next one. And I feel so sick and frustrated because I'd give anything to fix it and there's not a damn thing I can do.

Today he was so overcome with grief: first, because he was mourning the "normal life" that he hasn't had for 20 years; second, because he felt he is a burden on me. I tried so hard to make him believe that life is still good and that he's perfect to me. And that there's always hope. I think I convinced him this time, but for how long, I don't know. Probably just until the next one.

Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.

Nope. Just a dumb neurologist. That's why we're trying to get to the headache clinic. And we're looking into some of those "alternative" remedies too. At least he knows there are things out there left to try. Gives him some hope.