Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park
every day to feed the pigeons, watch the
squirrels and discuss world problems.


One day Russ didn't show up.
Sam didn't think much about it and figured 
maybe he had a cold or something. 
But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week 
or so, Sam really got worried. 
However, since the only time they ever got 
together was at the park, Sam didn't know 
where Russ lived, so he was unable to find 
out what had happened to him.
 

A month had passed, and Sam figured 
he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, 
Sam approached the park and -- 
lo and behold! -- there sat Russ! 
Sam was very excited and happy to see him
and told him so.
   
Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, 
what in the world happened to you?' 
 

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 
 

'Jail!' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?' 
 

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, 
that cute little blonde waitress at the 
coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

 

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. 
What about her?'
 

'Well, one day she filed rape charges 
against me; and, at 89 years old, 
I was so proud that when I got into court, 
I pled 'guilty'...
 

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'