Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for Six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet, replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance".

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.

"For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot."

"Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries. "And over there, I call this place America.

North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America which is a Hot spot. Can you see the balance?"

"Yes" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then he pointed to a smallish land mass and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah" said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rainforests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast line. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super- human, undefeatable, strong in character citizens who will be admired and feared by all who come across them".

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then exclaimed, "You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the buggers I'm putting next to them"

G'day Mike,
I don't think we will ever live that one down.

Hoppy.

Sure it was a shameful act, but nothing compared to NZ's vengeance in sending Russell Crowe to our fair shores.

Aaah, Phar Lap, Australia's greatest race horse until America slipped him the mickey and he died before he could flog the pants off their best.

It's his birthday on 1st August and I'll cook a fair dinkum Aussie tribute...

Pavlova!

Brian, Pavlova, the ball's in your court now.
A Pavlova is a Meringue,(mixture of sugar and beaten
eggwhites baked,) topped with cream and a layer of
Strawberries and Kiwi Fruit on top.The Kiwi's claim it
as theirs.It was named after Anna Pavlova the Russian
ballet dancer after one of her tours to Australia & NZ
in the 1920s.I'ts also claimed it was invented here in
Perth at The Esplanade Hotel.
Keith Money, a biographer of Pavlova wrote that a
Hotel chef in Wellington NZ created the dish when
Pavlova visited there in 1926 on her world tour.
The recipe did'nt show up in cook books until 1940
when the chef at the Eslanade Hotel claims he created it
in 1935.

I did'nt mean the ball's in your court and then put me in
the middle of the playing field.

G'day Mike,
I thought the only jokes about sheep was shagging,
on both sides of the ditch."Balance"

Hoppy.