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cluster headaches with violent behavior (Read 2317 times)

believe

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cluster headaches with violent behavior
Jul 8^th, 2014 at 11:40pm

My husband gets cluster headaches, it started a few years back and I have noticed his personality changed. He has become extremely violent. He gets nerve block monthly to stop the clusters but he is still very negative and abusive. Is this a symptom of cluster headaches. Does anyone here notice this in themselves or the person with clusters.
Cry

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blacklab

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Re: cluster headaches with violent behavior
Reply #1 - Jul 9^th, 2014 at 12:15am

hi believe,
I can understand a personality change, I think it did change me until I grew to understand what I had, I think it was more frustration ! at first I was quite short with my wife, didn't really want to share my pain ! I still don't, but she understands as well now and knows what to say and do when I get attacks. but never ever abusive or violent. this question was raised not long ago, although this affliction brings with it incredible pain, I don't think it brings violence, that had to be there before hand, in my opinion.
supporters are extremely important to cluster sufferers, read up as much as you can here, and hopefully your husband will see how much you do support him.
abuse or violence is something no one should put up with !
there is no excuse or condition that would in my eyes ever justify such actions
I hope your husband realises this very quickly and hopefully life will become easier, for him and yourself.
regards
colin

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believe CH.com Newbie Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 2	Re: cluster headaches with violent behavior Reply #2 - Jul 9^th, 2014 at 12:31am Thank you for your blacklab. I understand his pain and do everything I can to help him. I just wasn't sure if the aggressive behavior was an effect of a chemical imbalance due to the clusters even if your not getting an attack or I am just giving him an excuse for his behavior. thank you again for your input
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AussieBrian

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Cairns, Qld, Australia
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Re: cluster headaches with violent behavior
Reply #3 - Jul 9^th, 2014 at 12:49am

Certainly I know the anger of CH. Blazing, white-hot anger, frustration and hatred of what's happening beyond my control, but the only violence or abuse I've committed has been between my head and the wall.

Ask hubby if he'd like to talk to us, either on the boards or privately by PM. We'll help him, and you, every inch of the way.

Stay safe always and only better days ahead,

Brian down under.

My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com

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maz

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Hampshire, England
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Re: cluster headaches with violent behavior
Reply #4 - Jul 9^th, 2014 at 4:50am

Hi believe,
I feel for you. I have been on the wrong end of an abusive relationship.

Violence and abusive behaviour (except toward one's self) are not a normal symptom of CH. I find a severe attack so "all consuming" I wouldn't have the presence of mind to even notice anyone else is there, although I can quite understand lashing out. And I'm so drained afterwards that I wouldn't have the strength to be violent. Doubt if I could even defend myself if I needed too. In between attacks I'm back to the normal me.

Did the CH and the behaviour start at the same time, or when he started the nerve blocks? It is possible he's having a reaction to the meds. Also has he had a brain scan. He could have something else wrong that's causing both the behaviour and the pain, so not CH at all. Being wrongly diagnosed is very common among us.

Support him as best you can - most of us just want to be left alone during an attack, but above all else keep yourself (and your children if you have any) safe and out of harms way. Does he admit to his bad behaviour? Or is it (as was in my case) always your fault. If he understands what he's doing, he may be willing to see a neuro and get that scan. His condition, whatever it is, is not your fault, and you shouldn't suffer for it.

I'm now thankfully in a really good relationship, and I thank god I didn't have CH before.
Take care of him as best you can, but when it comes to violence for whatever reason you need to put number one first. Please take care and let us know how you are.
Maz.

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Bob Johnson

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Kennett Square, PA (USA)
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Re: cluster headaches with violent behavior
Reply #5 - Jul 9^th, 2014 at 10:27am

Suggest you report this response to the doc who has used the injections; he has some responsibility here.

If there are any suggestons of this kind of behavior at other times in your time together, arising from other circumstances/conditons, then your being forgiving/soothing/not holding him responsible, etc. serves to reinforce his behavior.

In the end, whether this is a medical problem or poor self-control, HE is responsible for seeking the assistance he needs.

Only when there is a suspicion of a significant mental disorder which impairs his self-control do we need to step in and control HIM. But this is not the first step, so don't assume he can't control himself.

Sympathy is your offering around the issue of his loss of control; support is urging HIM to take responsiblity, talking to the doc and seeing mental health care, if he can't handle his violence. (But be prepared for a strong rejection of seeing a counselor/"shrink"; such is the nature of men, sorry to say. Just don't back down from your stance that this is HIS issue to resolve.)

« Last Edit: Jul 9^th, 2014 at 10:34am by Bob Johnson »

Bob Johnson

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