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PleaseHelp

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Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Dec 13^th, 2016 at 8:49am

First off: I do not have CH, nor do I know anyone who does. However, I found out about them at a young age, and since then, I have not been able to relax or enjoy life for fear of getting a CH.

I had just turned 16 when I found out about CH. I was watching TV and it was mentioned. I then went online, read about it and watched videos of people having attacks. I will never forget the peoples' screams, the analogy of a hot poker being shoved in the eye, the nickname "suicide headaches", and the fact that it can happen to anyone at any random time.

I'm soon turning 19, and for the past ~3 years I have been living in fear of contracting these dreadful headaches. I literally haven't been able to enjoy anything, because I'm in constant fear of having a hot poker shoved in my eye. "Can't wait to see my friends this weekend...oh but I can't enjoy it because cluster headaches" "Can't wait to play this new game...oh but I can't enjoy it because of cluster headaches" Cluster headaches cluster headaches cluster f***ing headaches.

I know this must sound pathetic, to you guys who actually have CH and are probably wishing you were in my shoes, not having to deal with these attacks all the time. But I can't seem to get over this fear. This condition seems beyond gruesome, and it terrifies the hell out of me. I simply can't feel comfortable in a human body when I know I can have a hot poker shoved in my eye at any random moment and there's nothing I can do about it.

I can't sleep, I've had panic attacks before. I don't tell my friends/family about this for fear of ridicule. This crippling fear seems so absurd, because I don't have CH. I can't enjoy life whatsoever because I'm always thinking about goddamned cluster headaches ALL THE TIME. It is ALWAYS THERE, in the back of my mind tormenting me, that I can develop it at any time. I "probably" won't, but it's certainly possible, and that terrifies me beyond words.

Sincerely hoping someone can talk some sense into me, because this stupid fear is literally ruining my life. Cry

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« Last Edit: Dec 13^th, 2016 at 8:52am by PleaseHelp »

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jon019

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"Ya gotta believe!"

Posts: 1656
USA
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Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #1 - Dec 13^th, 2016 at 3:32pm

...the first thing we tell any new folks to the family seeking advice is sorry you have to be here but glad to have you...which makes your situation very interesting.....anyway, the SECOND is get thee to the proper medical professional for diagnosis and treatment....and that would be a mental health pro in your case....cuz we caint and aint gonna do it....

...you could seek referral from your primary care physician, your parents physician, your school psychologist or student advisor, or even local social service agencies should finances be an issue...

...my initial reaction to your post was...was...well unprintable...but folks tell me fluffy bunnies
are really nice sometimes. And, I have known folks with irrational fears re disease...even avoiding
me because of mine...so who's to say....

I....and actually I'm sure we.... wish you the best...and I advise you to consider your next post
VERY carefully.... because it will tell us what is truly in your heart.....

Best

Jon

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« Last Edit: Dec 13^th, 2016 at 3:35pm by jon019 »

The LARGE print giveth....and the small print taketh away. Tom Waits

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Potter

Ex Member

Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #2 - Dec 13^th, 2016 at 3:55pm

PleaseHelp wrote on Dec 13^th, 2016 at 8:49am:

First off: I do not have CH, nor do I know anyone who does. However, I found out about them at a young age, and since then, I have not been able to relax or enjoy life for fear of getting a CH.

I had just turned 16 when I found out about CH. I was watching TV and it was mentioned. I then went online, read about it and watched videos of people having attacks. I will never forget the peoples' screams, the analogy of a hot poker being shoved in the eye, the nickname "suicide headaches", and the fact that it can happen to anyone at any random time.

I'm soon turning 19, and for the past ~3 years I have been living in fear of contracting these dreadful headaches. I literally haven't been able to enjoy anything, because I'm in constant fear of having a hot poker shoved in my eye. "Can't wait to see my friends this weekend...oh but I can't enjoy it because cluster headaches" "Can't wait to play this new game...oh but I can't enjoy it because of cluster headaches" Cluster headaches cluster headaches cluster f***ing headaches.

I know this must sound pathetic, to you guys who actually have CH and are probably wishing you were in my shoes, not having to deal with these attacks all the time. But I can't seem to get over this fear. This condition seems beyond gruesome, and it terrifies the hell out of me. I simply can't feel comfortable in a human body when I know I can have a hot poker shoved in my eye at any random moment and there's nothing I can do about it.

I can't sleep, I've had panic attacks before. I don't tell my friends/family about this for fear of ridicule. This crippling fear seems so absurd, because I don't have CH. I can't enjoy life whatsoever because I'm always thinking about goddamned cluster headaches ALL THE TIME. It is ALWAYS THERE, in the back of my mind tormenting me, that I can develop it at any time. I "probably" won't, but it's certainly possible, and that terrifies me beyond words.

Sincerely hoping someone can talk some sense into me, because this stupid fear is literally ruining my life. Cry

Nailed it for the win.

Potter

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AussieBrian

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CH - It's all in your
head!

Posts: 3851
Cairns, Qld, Australia
Gender: male

Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #3 - Dec 13^th, 2016 at 4:46pm

G'day, welcome, and Illness Anxiety Disorder is very real and can really spoil what should be a wonderful part of a young person's life.

It's worth reading up on it and then perhaps a nice long chat with a physician you can trust.

Happily, it's not the end of the world and it can all be brought back into perspective on the way to a much brighter future.

Happy days ahead,

Brian down under.

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My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com

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PleaseHelp

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Posts: 5

Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #4 - Dec 13^th, 2016 at 6:59pm

Quote:

PleaseHelp wrote on Dec 13^th, 2016 at 8:49am:

First off: I do not have CH, nor do I know anyone who does. However, I found out about them at a young age, and since then, I have not been able to relax or enjoy life for fear of getting a CH.

I had just turned 16 when I found out about CH. I was watching TV and it was mentioned. I then went online, read about it and watched videos of people having attacks. I will never forget the peoples' screams, the analogy of a hot poker being shoved in the eye, the nickname "suicide headaches", and the fact that it can happen to anyone at any random time.

I'm soon turning 19, and for the past ~3 years I have been living in fear of contracting these dreadful headaches. I literally haven't been able to enjoy anything, because I'm in constant fear of having a hot poker shoved in my eye. "Can't wait to see my friends this weekend...oh but I can't enjoy it because cluster headaches" "Can't wait to play this new game...oh but I can't enjoy it because of cluster headaches" Cluster headaches cluster headaches cluster f***ing headaches.

I know this must sound pathetic, to you guys who actually have CH and are probably wishing you were in my shoes, not having to deal with these attacks all the time. But I can't seem to get over this fear. This condition seems beyond gruesome, and it terrifies the hell out of me. I simply can't feel comfortable in a human body when I know I can have a hot poker shoved in my eye at any random moment and there's nothing I can do about it.

I can't sleep, I've had panic attacks before. I don't tell my friends/family about this for fear of ridicule. This crippling fear seems so absurd, because I don't have CH. I can't enjoy life whatsoever because I'm always thinking about goddamned cluster headaches ALL THE TIME. It is ALWAYS THERE, in the back of my mind tormenting me, that I can develop it at any time. I "probably" won't, but it's certainly possible, and that terrifies me beyond words.

Sincerely hoping someone can talk some sense into me, because this stupid fear is literally ruining my life. Cry

Nailed it for the win.

Potter

You jelly of my non-CH?

No but seriously why is the human body even capable of hurting us this much, it doesn't make sense. How can anyone in this world feel comfortable when a hot poker can be shoved in their eye at any random time?

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jon019

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"Ya gotta believe!"

Posts: 1656
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Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #5 - Dec 13^th, 2016 at 7:27pm

jon019 wrote on Dec 13^th, 2016 at 3:32pm:

I....and actually I'm sure we.... wish you the best...and I advise you to consider your next post
VERY carefully.... because it will tell us what is truly in your heart.....

[/quote]You jelly of my non-CH?

No but seriously why is the human body even capable of hurting us this much, it doesn't make sense. How can anyone in this world feel comfortable when a hot poker can be shoved in their eye at any random time?
[/quote]

.....ANNNNNND...there ya go...it was worth a nibble...now you can go back to Mama's basement
junior...or more likely the hovel under the bridge where 40 yr old gnarly losers reside with delusions of clever close beside...

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The LARGE print giveth....and the small print taketh away. Tom Waits

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PleaseHelp

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Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #6 - Dec 13^th, 2016 at 7:38pm

jon019 wrote on Dec 13^th, 2016 at 7:27pm:

jon019 wrote on Dec 13^th, 2016 at 3:32pm:

I....and actually I'm sure we.... wish you the best...and I advise you to consider your next post
VERY carefully.... because it will tell us what is truly in your heart.....

You jelly of my non-CH?

No but seriously why is the human body even capable of hurting us this much, it doesn't make sense. How can anyone in this world feel comfortable when a hot poker can be shoved in their eye at any random time?
[/quote]

.....ANNNNNND...there ya go...it was worth a nibble...now you can go back to Mama's basement
junior...or more likely the hovel under the bridge where 40 yr old gnarly losers reside with delusions of clever close beside... [/quote]This isn't a troll post, I assure you. If it was, it sure would be a lame one. Everything I wrote in the OP is 100% true and if you don't want to believe it, that's your prerogative.

I've been following a guy on youtube called ufoimtc and he deals with CH pretty well. I've been watching his CH videos to desensitise myself to this fear, because he makes it look not as bad as some other people who upload their attacks.

To be fair, I was probably naive to expect any advice or sympathy here, because it must be incredibly frustrating to listen to a non-clusterhead whine about their problems. I promise you though, I'm not trolling. This fear has genuinely been eating me up for the past 3 years and I don't even have it.

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Hoppy CH.com Alumnus Offline LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE Posts: 1890 Perth WA Gender:	Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me Reply #7 - Dec 13^th, 2016 at 10:36pm If I were you I would get on with my life and stop worrying about getting CH disease! Because the chances of you getting it are as rare as rocking horse shit Cheers Hoppy
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PleaseHelp CH.com Newbie Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 5	Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me Reply #8 - Dec 14^th, 2016 at 12:33am Thanks bro
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LasVegas

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Episodic CH since 11 yrs
old, now 50.

Posts: 2020
north of the 60th parallel
Gender: male

Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #9 - Dec 15^th, 2016 at 4:28am

I have been regularly participating with this website since you were in diapers and your post is the most bizarre I ever recall reading.

My suggestion is to focus on girls, lifting weights, going to college, enjoying your 19 year old life, and not fear something that is not your medical issue.

-Gregg in Las Vegas

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Wishing everybody at CH.com less pain w/ more productivity in their lives in 2019

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maz

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Hampshire, England
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Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #10 - Dec 15^th, 2016 at 7:14pm

Worry about it when you get it - which, considering its rarity will probably be never.

There are far worse things in life - terminal cancer, leprosy, motor neurone disease,,,,,,I could go on.

If you want to worry about something that doesn't effect you, you could throw yourself into fundraising for all the children in the world who are starving to death.

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PleaseHelp

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Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me
Reply #11 - Dec 15^th, 2016 at 10:41pm

Thank you guys for replying. I know it sounds absurd and like a troll post, but it's a serious post and I have seriously been terrified of CH for a very long time.

It's not that I'm not grateful for my life. I understand sometimes bad things happen and life can be a pain. We all have our own problems, and it's not that I'm completely aversed to the idea of ever experiencing pain. But man CH sounds like something out of a horror movie, but it's real life. For some reason, I'm not afraid of kidney/gall stones, trigeminal neuralgia, tooth infections or any other painful things - just CH, and I don't know why.

I'm really trying to assume a more logical perspective, in that it's just a chronic pain disorder and not literally the devil. Man it just sounds so horrific.

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dauber Ex Member	Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me Reply #12 - Dec 24^th, 2016 at 4:06am TL;DR OP's username checks out , really needs professional help.
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dennisoc CH.com Veteran Offline Posts: 202 Conroe tx Gender:	Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me Reply #13 - Jan 10^th, 2017 at 1:40pm I really like this person. We should stop scaring folks about CH....DJs CH.Com and Bobs Clusterbusters site provide comfort. Hell...ya never know what might happen when ya age. I'm afraid with all this drooping skin...I may have to make the water in the commode shallower.
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Peter510 CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't give out... But don't give in. Posts: 966 Wexford. Ireland Gender:	Re: Hoping someone can talk some sense into me Reply #14 - Jan 10^th, 2017 at 3:40pm Jesus Dennis!!!!!!!!
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