Posted by Annie (169.207.142.168) on August 06, 1999 at 11:34:55:
In Reply to: Suicide Headaches (Drummer got me thinkin) posted by petem on August 05, 1999 at 16:45:48:
During my first CH bout I was sure I had a brain tumor. I went to a neuro who wanted to do an incredible battery of expensive tests. I burst into tears and realized no insurance, no money. I was afraid to go to my parents about the headaches because it was an abusive situation which I was trying to extricate myself from. I was devastated that now I was finally legally of age to leave the abusive home and live for a change, and here I was dying of a brain tumor. I took every pill I had in my medicine cabinet, slept for two days straight, and woke up and felt ok. In retrospect, I believe that I interrupted the cycle with something I took at that time. I did not have another episode for ten years. Since then the episodes have been coming closer together,and I know that during a CH if there was a gun in the house I would have blown my head off by now. When I have a CH I get into a weird state of being absolutely sure that if I could just remove that upper left quadrant of my brain, I'd be ok. I fantasize about cutting it out, shooting it off, etc. One one level of course I know this is nonsense but I become convinced, on another level, that if I could just remove it... relief! Anyone else get these feelings?
Annie