Any advice

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Cluster Headaches Messages ]

Posted by Todd ( on October 02, 1999 at 15:20:08:

In Reply to: Peruvian Gas Postcript (Lance) (Please don't read ) posted by Jack Boyd on October 02, 1999 at 12:25:49:

I believe that there are a number of potential pitfalls you must be careful not to slip into as you traverse this legal and sociological landmine.
For starters, financing the rewombination of Lance will, of course, open you to additional potential liability. Suppose Lance finds the accomodations not to his liking? Too cramped, too noisy, not enough entertainment, too humid, too much movement which causes nausea, etc. At the very least, ask the NOW attorneys to draft a Release of Liability before providing Lance any funding for this risky procedure.

Next, I agree with the earlier advice to seek a continuance, although 9 months my be unnecessarily long. The viability of Early Term Rewombinationists will likely be upheld by the Courts, just as they have protected the comparable Late Term Fetii. Following this thread, however, would logically dictate that during the Third Rewombination Trimester, The Human Formerly Known As Lance (THFKAL)will no longer enjoy the protection of the Supreme Court and will, in fact, cease to have rights.

Now, my last suggestion will require that you drop the NOW lawyers in favor of some who can think "out of the box". I suggest Johnnie Cochran, F. Lee Bailey and that short guy who specializes in DNA (Barry something or other) and assisted in that case of the poor football player who was obviously victimized by a racist police force a few years back. Follow closely as I try to explain my idea.

At the onset of the rewombination, Lance will instantly revert to the moment of his original birth. Although you have not mentioned in your posts how old Lance is, he was obviously born PRIOR to 1989, the publishing date of your book. Therefore, at the time the rewombination begins, Lance will have effectively travelled the time continuum, actually travelling back to, say, 1967 (if Lance were a theoretical 32 presently). As the rewombination process continues, while time will travel forward in its normal progression for all the rest of us, it will actually REVERSE for Lance, and Lance alone. Nonetheless, Lance's suit becomes immediately invalidate at the onset of rewombination, since for Lance, it is now 1967 and he could not possibly have been negatively affected by a book you will not have written for yet another 22 YEARS!

Think this through carefully and I'm certain you will recognize the inescapable validity of this approach. You are on legal ground as solid as the rocks on which Alcatraz is built, my friend.


Follow Ups:

Post a Followup




Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL:

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Cluster Headaches Messages ]