Posted by doug l (209.240.200.25) on October 04, 1999 at 11:27:42:
first off i want to thank everyone that responded to my post. all of your comment and sugestions are greatly appricated.
im doing a little better today (mentaly) i called my shrink today. the one i saw in the hospital. he is a very nice man. he is going to get some infermation together for me. books to read etc.he also is looking for a shrink that is more experanced with the gay lifestyle. its not that he does not want to treat me its that he wants me to get the best teatment. he will be calling me this afternoon with all of the info. i have not started any meds for my depression as of yet. he does not want to put me on something and then have my accual doctor change it when i start to see him. but, if it takes him awhile he said that he woud be putting me on something. in the hospital he spoke of zoloft. if anyone has any experiance with that i woudl really like to know.
comunication with my husband has improved since i got home. we sat down with our phot albums and looked at all of the good times we have had. but i also was reminded of the bad at the same time.
its strange thow. coming home after my attempted suicide. joe my husband is more open to talking about the issues we have and people that i never thought that even gave a damm are calling and offering to get me out of the house. my MD's lover just called and said he wanted to take me to lunch. (yes i am going to go with him)
yall, i have a problem with social situations and even find my self feeling panicie at the checkout at the super market. i get nerviouse easaly. and find it hard to make friends. then on top of that i have this deamon cluster headache messing with me.
i am going to seek help. because i do need it.
i have not had a ch since i got out of the hospital. i did have a strong shadow last night but i think it was from stress. trying to talk about too much too soon.
im not taking anything right now for my ch. the icu said i needed to see my md first before i re started. i just hope that i did not mess up my system too much as the meds i used to try to comite soucide with did help me whith my ch's. im accualy ashamed and embares to go in to see him. because he realy does care about me.
yall im sorry this is so long. i'm just at home by myself now and needed to get this out.
again thankyou everyone. and dont worie i will not ever EVER! do this again. i have hurt too many people and myself by doing what i did.
the days have to get better!!i have to make that happen.
thanks and sorry so long
doug lutz