Posted by drummer (220.127.116.11) on October 29, 1999 at 09:56:22:
In Reply to: Chronic Clusters, Chronic Insomnia, Chronic Depression... posted by Carl D on October 29, 1999 at 09:06:46:
I don't know what to tell you anymore. I've been chronic since November 11, 1984. Yes, I've wanted to stick a gun in my mouth about 15,000 times. Not a day has gone by that I didn't think about jumping off the 12th floor of the parking garage next to my office building. I'm thinking about it right now actually. Not a day goes by that I don't scream the word "FUCK" at the top of my lungs. Not a day goes by that I don't sign onto my computer and read a post by hub or Elaine or Bob P or DJ or Jack Boyd or Sonya or Amanda or Barbara D or Gary G or Joe Stone or Bob Kipple or Margi or Bernadette or, well you know the gang.
Sometimes I even call some of those people from CH.com. I like them. Sometimes they call me. Sometimes I even post something to the board. I try not to post the fact that I'm a cynical bastard and that I don't think that there is a God and that life fucking sucks and that there is no hope for people with Cluster Headaches and that we are all going to die some day and that there is no hope from doctors and that doctors really don't give a shit about us Clusterheads and on and on and on. Instead I try to post funny shit and supportive shit and helpful shit to people that have the same pain and frustrations that I have . Like Bob P says, "love you guys".
I hope you feel better soon Carl. I didn't read all of your post. It makes me feel a little depressed sometimes. Sorry.
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