Posted by Carl D (18.104.22.168) on October 29, 1999 at 09:06:46:
Hello all two of you who will actually read this,
Since 12:00 am this morning I have had 3 major blowout CH's , no sleep (is this day six?) and have been mega depressed. I have a question: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS HAD THIS KIND OF DOMINO EFFECT DUE TO GETTING CLUSTERF#@KED?
I realize when I get on the board I freak out (what'd you expect from a FREEK? An Annie recital?) But am I truly the only one who suffers from sleep deprivation, going days without sleep and when it comes it's only an hour or two at a time? Am I the only one here who has had thier life turned completely upside down as a result? Am I the only one who gets really really bummed out to the point of wanting to suck on a twelve gauge? Am I alone in this? If not, I would appreciate hearing your stories, what you have gone through and how you have coped and kept from swallowing an entire pharmacy-full of meds. Right now I feel like alot of people suffer froms CH's, but not many people at all have had thier whole lives burn to the ground. Am I really the only one who cannot cope with this?
I do not want this.
My only hope now is I might be going to a neurosurgeon for testing, treatment and meds - for FREE!!! My cousin is working on this and I will know either today or monday if it goes through. I will be part of an independent study on cluster headaches. I am praying - oh how I am praying.
For the most part though, I see the board really hasn't taken any steps forward as of late. Everybody is still bickering and doing what they can to pick fights. I thought this was like a support group of people who understand what you are going through, instead of a cluster concentration camp (yes you fit in here, sorry - you should go , oh no - absolutely not - we already know women don't have clusters)
Question: if women don't have clusters, does that mean they can't have heart attacks? After all, it is more frequent in men than women. Does that mean men are excluded from having breast cancer? ah ah ah , think again before you answer.
The arguing, bickering, judging, slamming, bashing, picking people apart... IT HAS TO STOP!!!!
I am beginning to believe Gator's post. It seems there are a few who only want to cause strife and slam others. Not sure how a person could destroy a website (unless your a good hacker), but I can see how they can destroy the people on the site. I could start naming names, but what good would that do? I would just be asking for it and starting another war. You know who you are. You criticize others who are gooing through hell. You will slam anyone who reaches out for help or to offer help.
In my studies of human behavior and personality types, I have never understood the need to reach out and hurt someone for the sake of seeing them hurt. I cannot believe someone called Elaine and gave her problems. I cannot believe some of the things people have said to each other on the board. Didn't anyone read the open letter I wrote awhile back? Didn't it sink in? Doesn't anyone get it?
The bickering is pointless (except for Bob P and hub, we know they are just kidding around. Playfulness, that can be therapeutic. Drummer and his f#@kin YAHOOO posts, lightens things up a bit). We deal with a serious thing here, it's kinda nice that some can try to help make others laugh. I know half of the board might sink into the chronic depression I am talking about without Nancy's Saturday funnies. And by the way, has anyone even cared to ask Nancy why she quit posting? Or are the arguments more important than the people?
Would you go into a hospital to terrorize people? No. So why come here and do it? Because we can't see your face. I could ramble about this all day, but my F#@CKIN HEAD IS STARTING TO HURT AGAIN!!!!!
I am sorry. I am trying not to take this pain out on everyone else, and I have no useless treatments or ideas to offer anyone - so since I have no tech info, should I just stay away or what? (and no, it's not a threat to take my toys into the next room to play with myself, er by myself.) I am just asking if there is room on this board for people to try to relate, encourage and share experience with one another. If not, then there should be two boards: one for the tekkies who have alot of nothing to say, and one for the humans who are FEELING like hell. I could ramble on about this all day, but i have #4 CLUSTERF#@K STARTING UP ON ME. AND THEY SAY I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS OKAY. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH FREAKIN EXCESSIVE TORTURE FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME?
Off of my soapbox not caring what some may think, walk a mile .... oh forget it, floor punchin time......CHRONIC FREEK
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