Checked out

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Cluster Headaches Messages ]

Posted by Carl D ( on February 06, 2000 at 13:31:30:

In Reply to: To all: When is your check-out time? posted by Francois on February 05, 2000 at 22:53:59:

Technically, I wanted to check out long ago. Everyday I fight with the thought of driving my car to a remote place, sticking a hose in the exhaust and linking it to the window. Everyday I think of wrapping a rope aroud my neck and jumping off of some high up object. Everyday I think about checking out.

Everyday I stay is another day spent in hell.

But there are the pain-free moments. Sometimes it is hard to see-through all of the depression and extreme exhaustion, but there are beautiful points to life. Life in itself can be very beautiful. Fighting a beast such as CH can sometimes hide those moments, and can distort the meaning of everything around you.

I can't say if or when I will check out. This has been quite a battle for me. Some days are good, some days are not so good, and some days just flat out suck!!! Lately, these days have sucked!
I am beginning to believe that for everyday you do not "check out", that is another day that you become stronger.

Stay Strong,

Follow Ups:

Post a Followup




Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL:

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Cluster Headaches Messages ]