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Posted by Ted ( on March 19, 2000 at 15:46:03:

In Reply to: My church posted by Todd on March 19, 2000 at 15:11:53:

You Pizzains are weak. You are nothing but a cheap substitute for us at the Church of Calzone. You Pizzains flaunt your goods and have neither shame nor humility. We Calzonists, followers of John Calzone's interpretation of the ONLY true source of the Word from Egg Roll, follow the Recipe as was originally intended. While you all are flashing your tomoatoes or pepperonis, we keep ours covered up in our modest garb of dough. We need not tempt others with our "extras." For it was said, "Lead me not into temptation with thine dash of oregano, sprinkling of salt and pepper. Believeth not that thine four thinly-sliced mushrooms covering thine mozzerella cheese and baked at 450 degrees until golden brown, shall impress. Thy wares art thy curse upon flaunting such."
Following the Path of the blessed Egg Roll we have found the only true salvation by only showing the world our rolled dough. Those who art deserving shall know our true inner beauty by faith in what we are truly made of. Repent, O'Pizzains of this world.
Certainly it's an easier life just laying back and showing everything all the time. But peace shall only come to you through the toil and hard work of rolling up your dough. Fun and beauty were not meant for this time and life, as John Calzone has said.

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