Posted by Jack (22.214.171.124) on March 23, 2000 at 07:49:30:
Warning: what follows is highly sophomoric and slightly scatological
The conventional wisdom about the cause of clusters has evolved over the years.
It has evolved precisely in the following manner:
Possession by Demons
Excessive Adolescent Onanism
Guilt over Onanism ( onanism is ok, the guilt is bad )
Inability to Interact Socially
I believe in empowerment and the right to choose one’s cause. Being a reactionary at heart who likes order and simplicity I have decided to retreat to a simpler more agrarian time and I am now absolutely sure that my clusters are caused by demons.
These are not mutually exclusive. I am also absolutely sure that Drummer’s cause goes like this: born with a bad brain, which caused him to secrete serotonin at inopportune times which in turn caused him to retreat to his room and to commit unspeakable acts rather than play outside with his friends, which caused his mother to retreat in horror, which then caused Drummer to become very anxious and to onanate even more and so on………
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