Sick of the pain

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Posted by Karla ( on March 23, 2000 at 17:06:19:

Had received a few emails inquiring on my where abouts. Just wanted to let everyone know I am surviving. Hanging on by a thread. Carl's post really hit home. I have had 4 weeks of non stop pain. I am chronic. My ha haven't increased any but I am having constant 10's and none of my abortives (o2, imitrix, zomig, vicodin, etc) have worked. I have been in er close to 13 times in last 3 weeks. Make it 14 I went in 2 nights ago to get some relief only to get a lecture on becoming a frequent flyer. On top of it I waited for 2 hours to be seen. I almost walked out and told them where to put it. Last Friday I had DHE and I did get 3 days of relief. The neuro reduced my veprimil in case the increased dose was causing my pain to be worse. He didn't think so but thought it was worth a shot. I have tried getting ahold of neuro to see if he will do something more. I called his nurse yesterday am and was told she would talk to him and get back to me today. It is 4:00 and this is BS. It has been over 36 hrs. I have thrown up anytime I dare eat anything and have keept nothing of value down for 4 days. I see my reg. dr. tomorrow to see if I can get a referal to a pain clinic. I am tired of being neuro's guinney pig. I will cont. to see him but maybe the pain clinic can offer something in addition to or in place of what my neuro is doing. I am tired of having my but look like a pin cusion and getting guilt trips for seeking pain relief. Anyway, I am alive and mad at many things right now. Mad I cant eat. Mad I can't enjoy life. Mad I have waisted 14 days drugged up (4mg of dilaudid 200 demerol) hoping and trying to kill the pain only to leave buzzed and sick from the drugs still in pain or so doped up I sleep for a couple days. Some life. I don't feel like my life is my own the monster controls and owns me. Any way don't want to post to much because I am very grumpy and hostile.

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