difficult people

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Posted by Rebecca T ( on May 06, 2000 at 09:48:12:

In Reply to: having a crap day and want to moan.............. posted by Tracy on May 05, 2000 at 09:56:35:

I'm sorry to hear about ht e problems you're having w/your mum! It's none of my business, but I've spent a lifetime dealing w/difficult people and have a bit of advise that might help if you can work up the nerve to do it. Tell your mum (and mother-in-law, if necessary) that you have decided that the issue of your headaches is such a difficult and emotional topic for everyone that yopu have decided that, for now, you would prefer not to discuss it with them. Let them know that you will be sure to tell them if anything happens that they need to know about, but that from here on out, you will not discuss your headaches or your treatment with them. Then really stick to it. If they ask about your headaches or bring them up, just say, "thanks for caring, but I prefer not to discuss that topic" and ask them about something else that interests them to change the topic quickly. If they call during an attack, don't answer the phone or tell them you have to go use the bathroom or whatever. If you get an attack in their presense, leave or lock yourself in a back bathroom and run the water or turn up some music so you can't hear them through the door. All this may seem very rude, but really, I have learned that people like this never change and you need to take care of yourself and not feel bad about it. The fact is that this really isn't an issue of your mum not understanding, but of her not respect your right to deal with your life and health problems the way that works best for you. You have every right to set boundries with anyone, including your mother and enforce them! I don't means to sound preachy, but I've been there and have had to learn to do this stuff the hard way and I'm much happier for it! I hope this helps a bit! Hang in there!

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