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Posted by Karen ( on June 11, 2000 at 09:08:00:

For the life of me I can't even begin to understand how you all deal with this! I keep swaying back and forth between being able to cope and not being able to cope. Most times during Steve's attacks I can be strong but there are times when I break down and cry with him. When I do that he feels bad and trys to make me feel better. He should NOT be put in the position to do this when he is suffering so badly! I find myself alone in my room more and more crying for him. While no one should have to suffer with this, he is just way to young to have to deal with this and be hurting so horribly everyday. I can't take seeing him smack his head, beg the Lord to help him, and let out the long deep crys of dispair!

Yesterday was the first full day on the Indo. Does this med have to build up in his system before we might see any benefits? He woke up this morning with another attack.

I can tell this is going to be a horrible rollercoaster ride and I HAVE to be strong for him. I CAN'T cry and break down in front of him. I am his mom and his protector! I pray daily for help in being strong for him. He feels badly when I cry and I don't want him to feel he is the cause of my dispair, he doesn't need that on his oh so little shoulders which are already being weighed down with his condition.

Dear Lord, Please, please please help me to help my son. He does not deserve to be hurting so. He needs my strength, not my weakness. He accepted you into his life so long ago and he needs you ever so much right now. Please help him! Amen

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