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Posted by Kathi ( on August 09, 2000 at 21:57:20:

In Reply to: My Demon posted by Bob Collins on August 08, 2000 at 11:31:45:

OHMIGOD! I read your story and you sound EXACTLY like me! I do almost all the same things you, heating pad, ice, shower. I developed these rituals on my own...after bashing my head into walls didn't work. My clusters (episodic) last about two-three weeks. In the beginning, they strike within 10 minutes of falling asleep but toward the end, they can hit anytime of the day or night. I'm a pretty tough person. I'm an outside sales rep in Manhatten and a mom of an ADOLESCENT!! But these damn things turn me into a quivering mass of crying, babbling humanity.
I recently became involved with the sweetest man on earth (after a 20 year marriage ended)and he was SHOCKED the first time he witnessed this! He said my face changes dramatically...I look possessed. The only difference I see between us is that I CAN"T LAY STILL! I stumble around...crying and begging God, Buddha...anybody who will listen to MAKE IT STOP!!!
I wouldn't worry too much about tumors or aneurysms...I got every test in the world and they all came back negative. You have the classic symptoms of a cluster.
These things are just as hard on spouses/significant others and children. Be happy your fiance feels your pain and just always thank her when she sees you through a bout.
Good luck and PS...since we both use the same treatments...try these two. Brush your hair..HARD...over the side that hurts. Also...sit in your car/truck with an air conditioning vent FULL blast on your face. It helps me.
Write anytime...I right there with you.

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