Why Doesn't Anyone Understand This Nightmare?

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Posted by Teresa ( on September 10, 2000 at 11:32:05:

I had my first Cluster Headache in almost 2 years this morning. My son was born 2 mos. ago, and I didn't have them while I was pregnant(it was great). It started at 9:30 am, and I didn't remember pain quite that horrific. How can pain that bad not kill you? The worst thing is that I know they will get longer in duration and more intense before it is over. God help me! I am breastfeeding my son, and I don't know what I can take that is safe. Our medical insurance was cancelled by my husband's company in January, and we have been able to pick up Tncare through the state, but I lost all my doctor's, and what little help I had.
I was able to get Tncare because of the pregnancy, and our income is too high otherwise to qualify, so I don't know how long I will keep it. I have ergotamine here, but I know it isn't safe, so I just layed on the bed and rolled and begged God to please take the pain away, or take me. I feel so guilty saying that because I have so much to live for right now. I don't know how I will make it through this hell with a new baby, two daughters, and I husband I truly love-but he doesn't understand. Help-Does anyone out there have any advise for the desperate?

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