Just a hello to my extended family, and an update

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Posted by Rick ( on December 03, 2000 at 02:48:07:

Greetings all,
Well, the demon is back again, and my padsander "cure" isn't working... A friend of the family "slid" me some nasal Imitrex (20 mg dosage, 5 of them total) and I've tried two so far.
I don't see why it takes so long for it to work, but after about 20 minutes or so, the pain finally does it's spikey thing and dissapates, as usual.
I just have to share that my life is in a virtual ruin because of this condition. I can't get a job because noone wants to keep a guy on the payroll who has to take 35 minute-3 1/2 hour breaks everytime one of the attacks occur, and being chronic now I get between 5-13 attacks every day... My finances are toast. People just don't understand in my present circle, (they keep saying crap like, "Oh, it's just a headache! Work through it. Everybody has headaches." and other nonsensical, stupid things).
What gets me the most, is that my 5 year old daughter comes over for visitations every weekend, and she has to see her daddy crying out of one eye and in pain like this...I hate it. I feel so terrible that she has to see me going through this every weekend. It makes me feel like I'm not as good a father as I should be to her. She looks at me, with all this love in her little eyes and all I can do is tell her, "Daddy's got another headache, sweety. I'm sorry.", and isolate myself away from her so she doesn't see me banging my head on things or hear me screaming with frustration and pain...
I want to rip the damn nerves, or blood-vessels that are causing this shit right out of my skull. I'm so tired of not getting sleep. I'm tired of idiotic people telling me that my headaches are something that everyone has, and that I'm some kind of lazy bum. I'm tired of preachers and religious pricks who tell me that this is nothing, or a part of "God's grand plan".
With only 3 nasal thingies left to "try out" I don't know if even Imitrex is something I could shoot for, medically, once I get my small-business off the ground and can afford to go to a doctor again...
Life is sucking pretty bad right now.
I hope this demon gets his ass ripped up, beat to death, and somehow "cured" for all of us, soon.
I don't know how much longer I can last.
Thanks for listening. Peace and health to you all.

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