They are not mad at you, just the pain

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Posted by Deveny ( on December 20, 2000 at 09:00:28:

In Reply to: Can't take anymore posted by August on December 19, 2000 at 18:41:58:

August I don't have clusters but my mom does. Mom has had them all my life
I am 21 years old. When we were little and in school there were many things
my mom missed. Dad taped a lot of stuff for her and she always found time to
watch them and tell me how proud she was of me. Those words she spoke were
always better than her being there. That was what I wanted, her to be proud
of me. I knew my mom was sick, sometimes I did feel like she just did not
want to be there, and that hurt but I did get over it. Now that I am much
older I see how strong she was just for holding a job and keeping the house
clean, and taking care of four children, and always making things extra
special when she was feeling good.

Kids know but sometimes their feeling get hurt, also I had this helpless
feeling of not being able to help her. We learned that the best way to help
her was to go on with our life and never bother her when she was having a
cluster. We learned to respect her pain and when she left the room we did
not follow or stop what we were doing. Not that we did not care but because
that was the way she wanted it. My dad did teach us what she needed, but we
were to help only if she asked us. When she did ask we were there for her.
Sometimes it was just to make a cup of coffee for her, or get her some ice.
It made us feel like we were doing something that made her feel better.

I will let you in on another secret, I always thought my mom was going to
die, every time she had a cluster. Dad just told us she was sick. Her CH
frighten me. I was never mad at my mom, but I was mad at the pain she had.
Those children are not mad at you they are mad at the pain just as you are.
They love you and may be frighten as I was. Just always tell them how much
they mean to you and lose the guilt cause there is no need for it. Children
understand more than you think they do.

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