Posted by August (22.214.171.124) on December 29, 2000 at 05:55:10:
In Reply to: Help, Suicidal posted by jstone on December 29, 2000 at 03:26:39:
I think you do want to live too, just by the fact that you came here looking for help. I know the state you are in intimately. Too many times I want to never wake up. When I do wake up it's a bitter disapointment knowing what the day will have in store for me.
I want to comfort you, and I want to tell you that you can hang on. We both know it's not that simple to be told these things and believe them. We have to believe it in our hearts that we have something to live for. I don't know what you have to live for, but I have three people that I love in this world. I am living for them right now. I hope soon I will be living for me. Right now, it's enough to keep me alive to stay alive for them, because I know if the tables were turned and they killed themselves I would be devastated. I would hurt deep in my heart for a very long time. Do you have family? Do you have someone that loves you? Do you have people that you love? Think what it would be like if any of the people you loved had killed themselves. Their pain would be gone, but the pain you'd feel from losing them would last so much longer. The hell they were in is over, but your hell would just begin. I'm sorry if this is not comforting, but this is real. This is one of the only thoughts that keeps me alive. It's knowing that i wouldn't trade my hell and give it to them to bear for me.
Please read over the advice you've been given. Scream and vent all you want because you need to when your in so much pain. Please don't give up. E-mail me anytime you need someone to cry to. I'm not much good at advice, but I know how to listen.
Major prayers going out for you right now.
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