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Posted by August ( on January 13, 2001 at 16:01:39:

In Reply to: Because of Nathan - and others posted by annemarie on January 13, 2001 at 10:14:02:

I spent last night writing about this, pointing out how we suffer not just from the pain in our heads, but from what it does to our lives too. Now i feel like a complete idiot. The whole thing brought me to tears too fast and I didn't take note of the inconsistencies or holes. What motive was there for writing this? I still don't understand? To get shrooms noticed? That was already happening.

I got everything together for the Gates Foundation and sent it off this morning. I copied off Little Liberty's story, included specific dates for the person looking over the application to check out at Ch.com. Now what? I have to write back and tell them" forget about that guy who committed sucide, that was just a fun little game that was played by someone" Jeezes freaking Christ!! I wanted to do something for everyone. Fuck it! I don't understand people. I don't understand human nature. I see human nature at it's worst with their back-stabbing games and power plays. Their little worlds that they think eveything revolves around them, while they're blind to the big picture of whats happening right in front of th em.

I've met some absolutely beautiful souls here. I've met some just plain mean viscious heartless idiots too. If it weren't for some of those beautiful people I'd have given up on trying to help. After this? Fuck! I'm so freaking angry right now. That was all I had to give anyone here. Now it's ruined by more games. LIfe isn't about how many people you can screw over and hurt. You think you've got a long life ahead of you, but you don't. Think! If you knew you were going to die soon do you want to leave knowing how many people you've hurt? That's the worst part, is knowing how many people you've hurt while you've been alive. Yeah, i'm having a break down here, ignore me. I just want people to stop and think. Words hurt, gossip hurts, these games like this Little Liberty hurts. Fuck it!

I'm going back to bed.

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