I am sorry,Elaine, for my poor english

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Posted by Thomas ( on March 19, 2001 at 14:19:03:

Hi! My intention of my yesterdays post was to say that having an attack, I often can`t stand even the imagination that someone, being in the same room is looking at me. My eyes are closed during the bout and I try to concentrate with all the power I have to fight the pain. I have to put 100% of it into fighting.
To know or to imagine, that somebody is staring at me reduces my concentration to 99%, which makes me weaker. I feel additional pain. The less concentration, the less I can stand the pain.This is what I call the glance that hurts.
The same thing happens, if somebody starts talking to me in an attempt to ease my pain. I have to think about the words and for a second can not be concentrated as much as necessary. Again additional pain. This is a thought, which hurts.
I experienced this from the very beginning, not being able to avoid hurting those,who tried to help me the best way they knew, by shouting at them not to look at me, not to talk to me.
One of the worst things people can do is touching my hair and my head tenderly during the attack. My hair
feels like a naked nerve, when I am on the top of the bout. Fortunately there is not much left anymore.
Bye and PFNAD, Thomas

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