Posted by Elaine (172.129.75.34) on March 19, 2001 at 15:07:08:
In Reply to: I am sorry,Elaine, for my poor english posted by Thomas on March 19, 2001 at 14:19:03:
Don't worry about your English, mine is awful.
I'll ask if I don't understand you. You will have to excuse my spelling, I don't spell very well.
I know what you mean about people looking at you and talking to you. I am different than you in how I deal with my pain. I try my best not to think about the pain. I can't sit and watch TV, or get on the computer when I have a cluster. I sit in the floor and rock. I still find myself saying I am sorry to who ever is around. I was music on, if I am where I can listen to it. If I don't have music and someone is in the room with me. I would like for them to talk to me, but not ask questions. I can't think to answer them. What I want if they want to talk is, tell me about their day, tell me a funny story a joke, ect....
I try to keep my mind on that instead of the pain.
I don't mind you touching me, as long as when I want to easy away, you let me. I try to get my mind away from the pain.
Todd gets into his pain, he trys to get it to the highest level, cause he knows ones there it will slowly go away. He wants it there and over with.
Maybe he will post and explain it better than me.
Tell people before a cluster hits what you want and what you need and don't need. That way you don't hurt their feelings. Tell them to leave you alone, maybe tell them to get you ice and coffee, but not to talk to you, or touch you, and to leave the room untill you are better.
You must make them understand that when you are having a cluster, the only thing that you can deal with is the cluster at that time. I hear all the time that supporters don't understand or know how to help. That is our fault not theirs. Because we did not take the time to tell them what we want and need. Write it down nail it to the wall, and if they forget, point to it. People
know what to do when someone is choking, because its in books, on TV ect...They know what to do when someone is having a heart attack, they read it or were told. They know what to do if someone drowns, or has a stroke ect...No one knows what to do when someone has a cluster unless we tell them.
I found out that not even a clusterhead knows what to do when they see someone have a cluster.
Several people on the board have seen me have a cluster, and the first thing they each did was talk to me, and touch me, they tried to fight doing it but they each did it. They found out just how the supporter feels.
I am going to hush now, I made this post way to long as it is.
Your cluster friend!
E