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Posted by ChuckC ( on March 21, 2001 at 15:54:46:

In Reply to: Idiots on parade :^) posted by Charlie SW on March 21, 2001 at 01:01:40:

Last summer I was working as a systemoperator at a small company in sweden when a lady calls me saying that her computer won't start.

When I come to her office I discover that her computer doesn't even want to start up. I ask her if she had removed anything from her harddrive.

-No ... Oh yeah I removed that DOS library since I never used it anyway and the disc started to get full!


Unusual Unit Conversion
Our Geophysical Clerk recently tried this unusal unit conversion: She could not get a program to properly evaluate a set of data, where the unit of measurement was in feet. So she converted all of the data to milliseconds and imported it into the program. When she proudly explained her brilliant conversion to her boss, his only response was: How many seconds tall are you?

And they say that the people asking the computer questions are bad...
I called Microsoft Customer Support (to be read Microsoft Direct Sales, but that's another story...), and when the woman answered, "May I take your order please?" I politely replied that I didn't want to order. She then asked if she could help me.

I told her that I was calling from an educational institution, and in our Macintosh lab we had 1 (one) PC running MS-Windows, and that we were getting an error when we tried to install one of the Microsoft Home packages.

She politely replied, "If you already have Mac's, why did you get a PC. The Mac is so much nicer than Windows!"

I started laughing so hard, I dropped the phone. When I finally picked it up, she wasn't there anymore. I would have never anticipated a Microsoft employee saying anything like that...

One of my husband's friends is a perfect "Stupid Person". He was pulled over because an officer noticed that his plates had expired."License and Registration please." He handed the officer what he believed to be an "up to date" drivers license, when he discovered that it too was expired. "May I see your proof of insurance please". Duh! His insurance was expired over 6 months! Upon telling this story to my husband, and thus exposing his sheer stupidity, he added, to our delight "I was lucky though. He didn't give me a ticket. Just this citation." It gave my heart joy to point out how lucky he was to have a $350.00 citation.
I was in a restaurant with two tables of people and a friend of mine was talking about how when he graduated in 2 months he was going to buy a car and drive from Georgia to Alaska. A girl at the other table looked at him like he was stupid and said "You can't drive to Alaska". Conversation at both tables stopped. Finally, the girl next to her said "It's not an island." The girl said "it's not?" She thought because maps show Alaska and Hawaii with the continental U.S. that Alaska was also an island.
Working at a computer support desk, I get my share of stupid people every day, but every once in a while one really takes the cake. So, a trilogy of stupidity:
A lady called me to complain that her Macintosh foot pedal wasn't doing anything. The call was resolved when I had her remove the mouse from the floor and put it on the desk.

In an effort to understand what was on one woman's Microsoft Windows screen, I asked her "Okay, now what do you see in the window?" Her response: "I don't know why it matters, but I see some trees, a parking lot, and several cars. Why?"

And finally, to put an end to this trilogy, there was the man who was asked by me, "Are you running this program under Windows?" His response was, "No, but you have a good point! John's computer is under a window and it works fine. Mine's next to the door."
I was working one night at a parking lot for a horse race track along side a security guard. I was responsible for collecting parking fees for one lane of traffic. The guard kept watch over a second lane reserved for non-paying patrons such as horse owners, visiting dignitaries, stockholders and the like. My colleague and I watched as a large car approached at high speed toward the non-paying lane. As it sped by, it brushed close to the security guard. Angrily, the guard yelled, "These goddamn stockholders think they own the place!"

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