Posted by Gordon (188.8.131.52) on May 24, 2001 at 12:52:28:
Hey, How come no comments from my post yesterday?
I've been a clusterhead for 22 years now.
Please read my post in the archives on 7/9/99 "The devil and his due".
I posted that after the first month of the episode. It lasted 2 more months!
Last year after I started a low dose (500mg) of Depakote, the episode was the easiest it's ever been, but this year it's back in full force.
Yesterday, I took the Depakote in the morning and the attacks didn't start until the evening. There is a coorelation between the two.
I have used all the abortive and preventative methods available. The DHE injections had a very negative affect (ER the next day). Nothing has helped until now. I see some hope.
I have two excellent doctors that let me work with them to treat my episodes. The best has always been to treat the pain (narcotics). Now, that may not be neccessary. In the last week, I have gone through 3 imitrex injections and 20+ vicodins. Yesterday, after changing the time for the Depakote, I only used 1-1/2 vicodin. That's progress.
Let's talk about bipolar, (manic depression, mood swing).
If you have been a clusterhead very long, you have realized that when the episodes come, your life is shit. You are in despair and hopeless. You wish you were dead. You try everyday just to make it through the day. You don't eat, sleep or enjoy anything in life. This is DEPRESSION! It is influenced by the Cluster, but is depression none the less.
When the episodes are gone, you feel wonderful. You have just lost 6+ weeks of you life and you want to use the time between episodes to it's fullest just to make up for lost time. You smell everything. You see everything. Life is wonderful. And without the attacks, you feel you can do anything. This is MANIA! Again, influenced by the Cluster.
You do not have to be a dillutional maniac to be bipolar. Check this site for Bipolar http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.bipolar.html.
There is nothing wrong with being Bipolar (most of the greatest people in history were bipolar), just as there is nothing wrong with being a clusterhead. I believe there is a link between the two.
If it helps me and let's me gain some control, that's good. If it helps you, that's better.
Please think about this and give me your input.
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