Two ships that pass in the night

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Posted by Dave Emond ( on June 30, 2001 at 06:34:03:

In Reply to: disability questions. please help posted by tami on June 30, 2001 at 04:28:53:

Hello Tami,
We haven't met, but your post may help both of us. I've made a few posts worried about myself possibly going chronic just as I'm about to venture out on a new business I'd planned for years, and it seems somewhat trivial now. Not that it's not important, but more so my approach and priorities.
I am learning this through time off, and through people here. I had lost my focus, and am slowly gaining it back.
Tami, if you don't mind by being honest with you, from your post, I get the impression you haven't decided yet what your priorities are either. Which is completely understandable. I would think some time off would be good for you, to give you some real time to work out what is best for you.
Your husband walked out on you last year, say your last goodbye and be rid of him. He was no man to begin with, and not derserving of you. You are strong, he was weak, time to let him go.
You have an 18 year old son heading for college, hold your head high! You have another 15 year old you obviously hold dear to you and it's easy to read between the lines you are very proud of him.
You may suffer chronic CH, but you know you are still blessed.
It does appear that this may be a good time to take some short term disability. Probably at least two months, maybe three. You will most likely receive 60% of your regular pay during STD.
You can check with your Human Resources rep at your office for details.
If you do decide to go on STD, do not use the time to sit around. This is very dangerous. I'd even suggest writing out goals for yourself, or what it is you want for yourself or sons in the future. Agonizing is out, trust me, this was one of my mistakes. It was a waste of valuable time.
The praying and thinking were on the right track.
One trap that can be easy to fall into when home alone and in pain, is self pity. I've been guilty of this, probably all of us have at one point or another. If you feel this coming on, come here to the boards, share your wealth of knowledge with newcomers who are lost and need guidance. With all you've been through, I imagine you have insights we may never have even touched upon.
Remember always Tami, you are a very valuable person, you do have much to offer to yourself, to your sons, to other CH sufferers, and to the world.
Take the time off, use it wisely, it will go quickly. Write letters to yourself about Tami and who she is and where she is going. These are coping skills that do not just pass the time, that's not what you want to do right? You want to answer those questions you asked above, but you know only you can answer them.
From what I read, I see a woman who will soon be an inspiration to all of us, already made me think about some of my priorities.
You've battled all these years so bravely Tami, time to reap the benefits, time to go out and go after what Tami wants to do with HER life!
My best,
Hope to hear from you often,

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