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Leggs
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My exploding eyeball
« on: Aug 14th, 2005, 5:33pm » |
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This is a picture I took at about 3am in March sometime, when my normal 2week February cycle was hanging on too long. I knew I needed to go to a new doctor, but I thought what better way to explain my issue than take a picture of it.
I can even see tears in my right eye, and the arrow on my cursor, fits in the left eye, but it's smaller than my right eye. I once had a boob in the emergency room give me a drug test, but he failed to notice it was ONE eye dilated, and it was FULLY dilated. My lid usually droops more, but this was after the peak pain, where I was actually functioning enough to operate the camara.
It was a terrible headache, I was up looking up brain anuerism on the internet, just to make sure I wasn't dying.
Then came over to clusterheadaches.com and retook the cluster quiz, got 100%, and remembered how bad the $hit really is, and how easy it would be to think it would be easier to die.
It amazes me how I can really forget the in 6 month the hell I go through in July and February. Whenever I remember it's JUST those months, I say a little prayer for you chronics..
I have been wanting to replace the Dino image with this, but I think it's just too big.
Hugs and PFdays. T.Ann
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| « Last Edit: Aug 14th, 2005, 5:38pm by Leggs » |
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E-Double
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #1 on: Aug 14th, 2005, 8:34pm » |
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They're a perdy blue 
I hear ya......have taken pictures during as well.....kinda frightening to see what you look like.
Feel good T.Ann!
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lionsound
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #2 on: Aug 14th, 2005, 9:15pm » |
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Well, T. Ann, I am really glad you did find us. 
Thank you for sharing your picture and your story. 
Seen myself in the mirror like that lots.
Be well and PF,
lionsound
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Jasmyn
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #3 on: Aug 15th, 2005, 3:26am » |
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The worst is that to other people before a hit we look normal, during a hit we look really BAD, after a hit we just look tired!
There is nothing to indicate what we've just been through. No knife in our eye, no bleeding, no amputation or enormous swelling!
THAT is why people and some docs don't take our CH seriously! But to us it was death by mutilation every time!!! 
So my happy thought for the day is always:
"To die will never scare me! I've got too much practice!"
PFDAN's and more happy thoughts to you!
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Jazz
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millie the episodic
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #4 on: Aug 15th, 2005, 5:28am » |
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You are abrave woman to take a picture of your agony, it is enough for me to see myself in the mirror.
Is it legal for the doctor to give you a drug test and who paid for it.
This is the question that I have ask too many times, How is it that the real druggies can go to the doc and get a the pain meds that they want even enough to sell, and us poor f**kers have to deal with the pain without any help or get bullsh** that is of no use to us. 
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Leggs
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #5 on: Aug 15th, 2005, 8:26am » |
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on Aug 15th, 2005, 3:26am, Jasmyn wrote:The worst is that to other people before a hit we look normal, during a hit we look really BAD, after a hit we just look tired!
There is nothing to indicate what we've just been through. No knife in our eye, no bleeding, no amputation or enormous swelling!
THAT is why people and some docs don't take our CH seriously! But to us it was death by mutilation every time!!!
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I didn't do the dance much this past February, because I was OUT, driving the kids around many times. I had no choice, I HAD to. I would play the music really loud in the car (when the kids weren't in it) just to get the throbbing of the music in my head instead of the pain.
People just don't get it when you are standing and not hospitalized, and say you are really in pain. I just didn't have a choice, no one to help with the kids. When I am OUT of the cycle, I am really scared to think about what the hell was I doing DRIVING.
I would stutter, from the CH, and literally HIT myself in the head to make it stop. Hitting yourself in the head is not a "normal" thing to do when your head HURTS, but it's a normal CH thing. I can't even begin to explain WHY it feels good to HIT myself in the head? That's why CH is so unbelievable to doctors, it's beyond explanation.
The thing that blows my mind is, that picture is when I was feeling BETTER?!
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| « Last Edit: Aug 15th, 2005, 8:56am by Leggs » |
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Leggs
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #6 on: Aug 15th, 2005, 8:50am » |
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on Aug 15th, 2005, 5:28am, millie the episodic wrote:You are abrave woman to take a picture of your agony, it is enough for me to see myself in the mirror.
Is it legal for the doctor to give you a drug test and who paid for it.
This is the question that I have ask too many times, How is it that the real druggies can go to the doc and get a the pain meds that they want even enough to sell, and us poor f**kers have to deal with the pain without any help or get bullsh** that is of no use to us.
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I wanted proof, like I said it's beyond explanation when you go in there "Well it was hurting in my eye," there really aren't any works in the English language that properly explain it other than cursing?! Exploding Eyeball the poster got a good screenname for the explanation, but you feel like your eyeball is exploding and ah, it's still there an hour later. I have often wondered if my vision has been affected by this, but once you reach 40, they blame everything on aging...
I think they are within their rights, but I sure as hell shouldn't have to pay for it! I was just weeping and slobbering all over the place, with my head between my legs squeezing it and blubbering. That was the time I went and thought on the way "well, if I run off this bridge, I will get knocked out and my head won't hurt anymore." I don't know if CHers are suicidal, I think you just get out of your head when it happens.
I hope you find a doctor with a clue Millie, and get away from the dumba$$ who is trying to get you on a bunch of crap to MAKE you dependent, instead of putting you on stuff to relieve your pain. Do YOU do O2?
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Some people have one of those days,
I Have One Of Those Lives, And I Love It
ihootlaili
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Leggs
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #7 on: Aug 15th, 2005, 8:54am » |
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on Aug 14th, 2005, 8:34pm, E-Double wrote:They're a perdy blue
I hear ya......have taken pictures during as well.....kinda frightening to see what you look like.
Feel good T.Ann! |
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You know, I am not sure, but I think they actually change color, less blue, more gray when I am having a CH or pain. Maybe I just can't SEE right.
I love your quote at the bottom; it's hard to explain it, and anyone NOT here, and relating, would think you wacked saying that, but is does describe the feeling well. It doesn't make sense why you would want to do that to yourself, but CH does NOT make sense.
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Some people have one of those days,
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millie the episodic
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #8 on: Aug 15th, 2005, 11:52pm » |
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I do do 02.  Hey I made a funny, and I can actually LOL because I am doing much better. Off all narco-drugs and I feel like I am going or rather slipping into remission. I only have had 1 biggie, and a few small shadows during the day. But.. I am dealing with them with zomig, ice pack, and 02.
I realize that everyone is different in their cluster cycle, but I have found in this cycle that I had a longer period this cycle. They started out gentle and I thought ohhh this one is going to be okay.  Then they called in the Big Boys and I had to pay for being able, or thinking that I was going to be able to handle this cycle and live. You know, I do think that the HA'S get use to some meds, and different methods of treatment and it makes it harder to treat these creeps. But.. I am trying to do this on my own with minimul drugs and or dr visits. And I don't really think of the zomig and lortab 5 as a drug while I am in a cycle, I think of it as survival. I feel like I am more in control with them. It beats the hell out of wanting to pinch your own head off. I am learning to take each day and each headache one at a time. Deal when they visit, and live when they leave.
Millie 
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| « Last Edit: Aug 15th, 2005, 11:56pm by millie the episodic » |
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Jasmyn
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Re: My exploding eyeball
« Reply #9 on: Aug 16th, 2005, 2:47am » |
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on Aug 15th, 2005, 8:50am, Leggs wrote:
I have often wondered if my vision has been affected by this, but once you reach 40, they blame everything on aging...
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My vision in the eye that gets hit has improved, my optometrits had to change my glasses. Maybe all the bloodflow to THAT eye everytime?  Lovely to age and the eyes are getting better!
Quote:When I am OUT of the cycle, I am really scared to think about what the hell was I doing DRIVING.
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Yes Real SCARY!
Quote:I am learning to take each day and each headache one at a time. Deal when they visit, and live when they leave.
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Great philosophy! Stick to it!
PFDAN's!!!
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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