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Topic: Why???? (Read 810 times) |
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marty
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Re: Why????
« Reply #25 on: Aug 22nd, 2005, 7:35am » |
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Hi Y'all
CH is a very "lonely" affliction. Most of us deal with it in private and shy away from contact with others for many reasons. If you see life as being good or bad, black or white etc, then it becomes very easy to fall into a state of mind where you feel like you are being punished.
There are those who personify CH by refering to it as the beast, the devil, the demon etc and I see a danger in this; by not dealing with CH as a headache - no more, no less - even though it is the most severe headache there is, and making it a battle between good and evil we are inviting mental disaster.
This issue have been on my mind for a while now and I have been reluctant to post it.
My point is this; a beast or devil is bad and bring pain and suffering. God is good and being in his good graces will bring happiness and contentment and therefore, a person suffering must have done something wrong and is now being punished. A demon is also bad and the good is an Angel - same theory applies here. To be alone (because you are always alone when fighting a CH attack) and at the same time trying to figure out what you did wrong and why you are being punished takes away from your inner ability (strength) to deal with the CH attack(s) and you are more likely to give in mentally. Lack of sleep will add to this.
I consider myself very fortunate in that CH is my only really painful affliction - the bones that I have broken are minor and due to my own stupidity. I still have penty to worry about but I will not let it become an issue of good or bad. I do believe in God and that he is almighty but there is also the part of us being made in His image and therefore I will deal with what comes for what it is and not worry about the why and why not. In other words, I have headaches, bad and scary headaches, but that is what I am dealing with - no more , no less.
Marty
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Jeepgun
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: Why????
« Reply #26 on: Aug 22nd, 2005, 7:43am » |
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As for the positive things that can be gleaned from this condition:
1. Nothing is more humbling than deep pain. It shakes up our little status quo and forces us to take a good look at our priorities. Suddenly, that damn PTA meeting or the dishes in the sink don't seem nearly as important as spending time with your spouse, partner, children, or pets. Deep pain slows us down and forces us to take a good look at ourselves and our lives.
2. Deep pain is a clarion call to muster our inner strength and call forth resources that we previously didn't know we had. It spawns a deeper, truer self-knowledge and a realization of just how much we are able to endure.
3. Deep pain is like the drill that taps a well of sweet water. When we've been in deep pain, it opens our hearts to compassion, empathy, understanding, and care for our fellow man.
4. Deep pain sets our feet on the road to seeking answers. Whether those answers are spiritual, medical, physical, dietary, or any combination thereof, deep pain boots us into the river of life and gets us swimming with the current again.
5. Deep pain yanks our focus out of the dim fog of the unrealized future, or the constant backward-looking focus on the past and puts us right on the very needle's point of the present.
6. Deep pain opens our hearts to gratitude for the "ordinary" times. Because we are in extraordinary pain, the times when we are pain-free may feel like any other day to the average person, but to us, a single night of pain-free sleep or a day without having to duck into the bathroom with our palm jammed into our eye, is worth more than a king's ransom. The "ordinary" times become filled with extraordinary joy and a fresh awareness of the beauty around us.
These are a few things I was able to come up with, off the cuff...
Peace & PFDAN's,
-Frank
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floridian
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on Aug 22nd, 2005, 7:35am, marty wrote:
This issue have been on my mind for a while now and I have been reluctant to post it.
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I'm glad you posted those ideas, Marty. This isn't a simple issue, isn't a right vs. wrong, one answer and only one answer. All of the posts in this thread are attempts to deal with our own situations, and a reasonable, polite discussion considering many perspective is a good thing.
Kimmeesue: got any of the general ideas from C.S. Lewis to put up here? I read a lot of Lewis a while back - he is an excellent writer, very logical within the framework of his faith.
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E-Double
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Re: Why????
« Reply #28 on: Aug 22nd, 2005, 11:49am » |
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Excellent post Marty!!!
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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kimmeesue
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Re: Why????
« Reply #29 on: Aug 22nd, 2005, 12:08pm » |
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on Aug 22nd, 2005, 7:51am, floridian wrote:
Kimmeesue: got any of the general ideas from C.S. Lewis to put up here? I read a lot of Lewis a while back - he is an excellent writer, very logical within the framework of his faith. |
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Whew, that's tough. To oversimplify in the extreme, pain serves as the antithesis of all that is good and without which we would have no real experience of pleasure, joy, etc. Pain, as someone else noted, is quite humbling. It is a great equalizer. No matter our station in life we suffer and our sufferring is not diminished by wealth, power, family, etc. Those things may affect how we deal with our pain in terms of resourcesand support but in no way affects the pain or the nature of the pain itself.
But he goes into the whole free-will, original sin thing, too, which is meaningful to those who are "believers".
I'm only in the third chapter, about halfway through. If anyone is interested I will post further on this when finished.
Kim
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Salvelinus
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Re: Why????
« Reply #30 on: Aug 22nd, 2005, 9:31pm » |
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Kim--please do, and thank you.
Floridian--I agree.
Marty--Great post. As I just said in a PM, before coming here, I had never thought of my CH as a "beast," or felt I was being "hit" by something. Even the term "shadows" has a dark, evil ring to it. On the contrary, I've always discussed my pain in a very factual manner. Once, after being referred to a biofeedback therapist, she asked me to "draw" my pain. I sat there and stared at the paper--I had never thought of it in terms other than severity, quality, location, etc. I ended up drawing my head with a red-hot poker through it, and feeling very sheepish for drawing that. On the other hand, I very much understand why people use those terms. This condition does foster victimization.
Frank--WOW. Awesome. I'm speechless. You thought of that "off the cuff?" Every line is so true. That was EXACTLY what I was looking for, but couldn't articulate--thank you so much!
Namaste,
--Scott
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Namaste,
--Scott ><>
"When no one else knows how I feel,
You run to me, with outstretched hands,
and you hold me in your arms.
Again."
--Building 429
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kcopelin
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Re: Why????
« Reply #31 on: Aug 22nd, 2005, 10:00pm » |
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For twenty years I have fought, pleaded, cried, whined and nearly suicided over these headaches. I honestly thought God hated me. He doesn't. I have clusterheadaches. Frank-your post brought tears to my eyes-thank you bro. I have started thanking God that I have to stop the dizzy ride and get off sometimes and that He's always there and always will be.
kathy
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