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helpinthehub
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1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« on: Feb 15th, 2004, 9:53am » |
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Well, I've come accross this site after years of my husband being stubborn and refusing to go to the doctor. Since 99, he has suffered from what I believe to be cluster headaches. He exhibits all the signs. The problem is, he is EXTREMELY stubborn and will not see a "real doctor". You see, he has spent 23 years in the military, and is under the impression a Corpsman or Flight Surgeon knows everything. He stopped in to the flight surgeon once, told him about the headaches, stuffed nostril, and watery eyes and was given Claritin and sent on his merry way 
I can't stand waking up in the middle of the night and watching him go through this any longer. So, I'm hoping this website will help me to convince him to see a "real doctor" (no offense to Corpsman OR flight surgeons, you guys are great).
I'm glad I found this site. Now, if I can only get my stubborn (but sweet) husband to take a look at it.
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Prense
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #1 on: Feb 15th, 2004, 11:50am » |
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That's a tough road set forth for you. In addition to wanting to see a doc, he has to be willing to participate in what the doc is advocating. This site helps in that area in that it allows us a place to ask folks who have been there, what works and what doesn't. Then, we will know if the doc is full of shit or not.
I can fully relate...I waited about 7 years to see a doc about my HAs. There is no easy answer. I'd bet that if you got him to read a few of these posts, you will probably find that he would be much more willing to see a doc.
Good luck!
Chris
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justasound
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #2 on: Feb 15th, 2004, 12:40pm » |
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I don't blame him about not wanting to see a doc. I think they suck. Maybe you could read about the O2 info in the column to the left.
At any rate tell him to drag his candy ass over to this site and learn for himself. Or he can drop and give me 50.
lee
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TxBasslady
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #3 on: Feb 15th, 2004, 2:19pm » |
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I have to agree with Chris......He has to want a solution and be willing to do whatever it takes to get the answers.
We are not doctors.....but the info we share with each other is priceless. Because we are all different, the same meds may not work for all. But the sharing of the info at least gives us an idea of things to discuss with our doc.
You will find no other place that will give you the support and help with med ideas that this site will.
Suppose the first thing you need to do is try and get him to come here. Usually someone here 24/7.
Sorry your hubby suffers.......hope he gets the help and meds he needs to fight the beast.
Let us know how he is doing.
PF vibes,
Jean
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Cerberus
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #4 on: Feb 15th, 2004, 3:12pm » |
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lovely, a "Superman" among mere mortals....
Well, I would like to believe that if it hurts bad enough he'd go see a doctor. Claritin? heh.......might as well give up on that idea.
I have to agree, with what the others have said. this is the best place for information on cluster headaches and the best place for support as well.
To the Husband:
Sir, I have never been in the military, so I will not even begin to try and understand that. I DO, however, suffer from Cluster Headaches and know a great deal more than I care to know sometimes. It is unfortunate that your "stubborness" (your wife said it first) is going to keep you from getting proper diagnosis and treatment. As you well know nothing in life is easy and dealing with finding a treatment for CH isn't either. In fact its a bitch.
Basic facts are this: FEW doctors especially military ones (from the experience of others here) know much about CH. Military treatment for just about anything is generally a patch em up or make em well enough for duty operation (not to say that military doctors are worthless, never that) What I'm saying is, that the options are limited as it is and it is going to come down to personal logistics. Does it hurt bad enough to keep you from being the best soldier possible? and if so....Why would you not seek the best possible help even from the outside?
For all I know having CH could get you discharged medically and you would lose everything you have worked so hard to achieve I really don't know for sure,(doubtfull though there are people here with son's and daughters currently serving who suffer this) there are no garantees in life or CH. I emplore you to at least find out and seek help. There is no shame in that, afterall isnt the military based on a team concept? Isn't that what the drills and wargames are all about? Team effort to achieve a common goal? So is this site!
Would the Generals send you to battle without a plan of some sort? No. everything is planned out in great detail (even if you aren't privy to that info) and all contingencies are accounted for to the best of their intelligence. So it is with CH as well.
well ma'am I don't know what else to say, he's gotta want it to stop before he'll do anything. We can only persuade.
Ramon
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jonny
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #5 on: Feb 15th, 2004, 7:57pm » |
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Well fucking said, Ramon!!!!!
...................................jonny
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Kirk
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #6 on: Feb 16th, 2004, 12:43pm » |
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I can not say enough good about the corpsman who dragged my sorry Marine ass out of the mud, the Docs who pulled a shit load of shrapnel out of me. Reset my bones and patched some rather large holes in my hide that I acquired.
That being said. CH blew right by them. Drag your butt to Sick Bay and ask to see a Neuro.
Trust me on this one. Been there. Surfed it.
TTFN 
PS: If you don't, you are guilty of violating the UCMJ. Willfull misuse of and or destruction of government property 
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| « Last Edit: Feb 16th, 2004, 1:09pm by Kirk » |
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Sean_C
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #7 on: Feb 16th, 2004, 2:57pm » |
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Dear Help,
I agree with Ramon......the thing I can't understand is why this man would want to suffer needlessly is beyond me.
Sounds like he's Irish.....
Best of Luck if thats the case.....Irish men have very selective hearing
Wishing him PFDAN
Sean Patrick _ _ _ _ _ _
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Ronin
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #8 on: Feb 16th, 2004, 4:03pm » |
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I was in the Canadian Forces when my CH’s first came banging (1990). I went to the Medical Doctor’s many times throughout the years and was told the same thing from these self-important, indifferent SOB’s. “You have sinus headaches - here’s some Sudafed”. Well, I thought that was the problem, and the cure as my CH’s went away after about 20 minutes - at that time. Little did I know that was the cycle I happened to be going through at that time. In retrospect, they would have gone away even w/o the pills in about 20 mins.
To make a long story short, I got out of the forces and went to see a family doctor. He referred me to a Neurologist. Within 5 mins into the visit with the Neuro, he diagnosed me with CH’s. - classic, textbook, cluster headaches. That’s when the proper treatment finally started to happen.
Your husband should get the proper diagnoses while he is still in the forces so it will be documented on his Medical documents. This way the forces will not be able to say in the future that he didn’t have that condition while he was a serving member. I don’t know if this will help him in the future, but it won’t hurt.
This board has been a godsend for me. I can’t say enough how it has helped me to just see that I wasn’t alone. As the other members have said before me, get him to see this board ANY WAY YOU CAN. It has the most valuable, and up to the minute information on these ‘bullets to the brain’ I have ever come across.
I wish you and your husband all the best in the future.
Ronin
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helpinthehub
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #9 on: Feb 16th, 2004, 4:44pm » |
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I want to thank ALL of you for your kind words, kick in the pants, and great advice. I may have finally gotten through to him, and in part was because he finally read some of these posts. After 23 years in, he thinks the cure for everything is "Vitamin M (Motrin that they prescribe for EVERYTHING) but it just doesn't work in this case. He is starting to realize that now.
We may have a chance to see a civilian doctor because where we are stationed is hours away from the nearest military treament facility. So, as long as he can get a referral, he should be able to see a non military neuroligist. He's not so scared about being discharged since he already rates retirement now. I think it's more of the Marine in him rearing it's stubborn, musclebound head. I also brought up the point about getting it taken care of while he's still in, so one, it will be paid for, and two, it will be well documented for a disability rating. He sustained a head injury in 98 (no, I didn't do it LOL) and I'm hoping these two aren't related. If they are, at least it will all be documented as it has happened while he was in the military. Not that I really care about that at all, I just want to see him painfree, or at least have the pain tempered.
I don't know how you guys do it. I thought vertigo was bad, ugh, but CH makes that look like a walk in the park. Keep it up, you guys have motivated me to REALLY motivate my husband.
P.S. Lee, my husband doesn't take orders anymore...he gives them. So, on his behalf, Get back in your own gridsquare and give me 100! 
Thanks again for everything, you are WONDERFUL!
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Prense
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #10 on: Feb 16th, 2004, 5:07pm » |
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on Feb 16th, 2004, 4:44pm, helpinthehub wrote:We may have a chance to see a civilian doctor because where we are stationed is hours away from the nearest military treament facility. So, as long as he can get a referral, he should be able to see a non military neuroligist.
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I live right on top of a military hospital! (well, not literally)
Do not settle until he gets referred to a neuro! PM me if you have any troubles getting the referral.
Good luck!
Chris
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Sean_C
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #11 on: Feb 16th, 2004, 5:25pm » |
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Thats one for the family guys, now lets find Ramon a job
Wishing PFDAN to all
Sean
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Charlie
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #12 on: Feb 17th, 2004, 8:50pm » |
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Welcome aboard and I think a lot of us understand the reluctance in seeing a doctor for this horror. The thing is: A neurological exam is painless but frankly boring. Nonetheless, you can no doubt get some relief. Here are two links that may be helpful; the first being to a technique that worked for me:
http://www.netsync.net/~charlies/
This next one is to a letter written by a fellow cluster headache sufferer that is the best of its kind to help explain these attacks to families, friends and employers. Its author encourages copying. It’s well worth it.
[url]"http://www.ouch-uk.org/ch/note_colleagues.cfm" [/url]
Let us know how you're getting along.
Charlie
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justasound
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #13 on: Feb 18th, 2004, 7:53pm » |
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Quote:| P.S. Lee, my husband doesn't take orders anymore...he gives them. So, on his behalf, Get back in your own gridsquare and give me 100! |
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SIR YES SIR, SORRY SIR!
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justasound
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #14 on: Feb 18th, 2004, 8:03pm » |
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Wait a minute, I'm not a Marine...... Oh well, i could use the excercize.
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PUCKMAN
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #15 on: Feb 18th, 2004, 9:10pm » |
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You are so blessed to have found this place when you did. It took 12 years for my wife to convince me that these ha's weren't allergies. I hope he follows through and visits the doc. It won't cure them but at least he might get some relief.
hang around here these people are amazing. I just found this place myself.
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ClusterChuck
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #16 on: Feb 19th, 2004, 1:26am » |
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on Feb 16th, 2004, 4:44pm, helpinthehub wrote:
P.S. Lee, my husband doesn't take orders anymore...he gives them. So, on his behalf, Get back in your own gridsquare and give me 100! |
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EVERYONE has someone over him!!! ESPECIALLY in the military! (Unless his middle initial happens to be Dubya?)
Shoot, does he want this old fart Swabby to come and clean his clock? Git yer slimey grunt ass to the NEURO! Heehee!
Welcome aboard, and get him to read more here, and start posting on his own. We will tell him what-for!
Chuck
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Tiannia
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #17 on: Feb 19th, 2004, 1:13pm » |
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We all wish that there was an easy and curall for everyone. He does need to get in ASAP and get this figured out. He has to be willing to talk tot he doc about what is happeneing and what it feels like. All military men (oh hell all menin general) seem to have a predisposision to saying that somethign does not hurt as bad as it does. That they are somehow a stronger man if they hide it. The only way that the doc can really help him is if he is honest not only with himself but the doc. I wish you the best of luck. My hubby is ex ARMY. and there are times when I want to kick his grunt ass up one side and down the other for not seeing the doc when he should.
Tiannia
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Little Deb
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #18 on: Feb 20th, 2004, 6:31pm » |
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Welcome!
Maybe Elaine could have a word with him...she is near Atlanta. And I am sure she would give him an ear full!!!
Let us know if we can do anything for you.
Hang in there.
Big Hugs....Little Deb
Raleigh, NC
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Paigelle
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #19 on: Feb 20th, 2004, 6:37pm » |
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Print all of the information here and tape it to yourself, then stand in front of him and make him read it!!!!!
Good luck with him!
Paige
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helpinthehub
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #20 on: Jun 6th, 2004, 2:28pm » |
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Hey guys, I FINALLY got him to the doctor, JUST THIS WEEK. Yep, it's been since February that I have been bugging him, but this last cycle got so bad he finally broke down and went to the doc. It was an easy diagnosis because I've been keeping track of every headache he has had, and once you see it on paper, there is no denying that something is wrong.
The doc gave him Amitriptyline which for the past few nights has worked (except when he drank a beer last night). We'll see how it works from here.
I know this is late, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
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mynm156
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #21 on: Jun 6th, 2004, 4:10pm » |
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I am sorry for your husbands pain ( and the pain it causes you) But just like with anything he will have to look at this site and see what he thinks and also be ready to get the help.
Good Luck to you both!!
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don
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #22 on: Jun 7th, 2004, 2:30pm » |
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Alcohol is probably the number one trigger for most sufferers. Got to lay off the suds for awhile.
Except for those damn chronic types who probably just have bad meeeegraines anyhoot.
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| « Last Edit: Jun 7th, 2004, 2:31pm by don » |
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UN_SOLVED
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #23 on: Jun 7th, 2004, 2:42pm » |
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Having clusterheadaches and NOT WANTING to see a doctor. ??? That whole thing sounds fishy to me ... toughguy or not !
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Gator
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Re: 1st post...I have a stubborn husband
« Reply #24 on: Jun 7th, 2004, 4:43pm » |
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on Feb 19th, 2004, 1:13pm, Tiannia wrote:...All military men (oh hell all menin general) seem to have a predisposision to saying that somethign does not hurt as bad as it does. That they are somehow a stronger man if they hide it. ... My hubby is ex ARMY. and there are times when I want to kick his grunt ass up one side and down the other for not seeing the doc when he should.
Tiannia |
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I understand exactly what you mean, my wife (who is ex-military, also) is pretty hard headed about going to the doctor, too. And speaking as one of those tough guy types, I also understand his side of it. Men are (or at least were when I was in training to be one) taught from an early age to tough it out and don't cry or complain about a little pain - no matter how much that "little" might be. The military just re-inforces (or used to) that all the more.
I never met a doctor yet that was worth his weight in Spam, military or civilian. The comment earlier about "Vitamin M a.k.a. Motrin" rings solidly true. I think every ache or pain I ever had while I was in the service was treated with motrin. You get tired of being told there's nothing wrong with you or we can't find anything wrong with you. That's all I heard in 13 years of seeing various military and civilian docs and about all I've heard since then as well.
When I returned to my unit in Japan after busting up my ankle during maneuvers in Korea, there was nothing wrong.  When I hurt my back chasing an escaped mental patient in Japan, there was nothing wrong. When I started gaining weight so fast it didn't seem humanly possible even though I was on a diet and running every day and working out 5+ days a week, there was nothing wrong. When I had chest pains that I thought would be the end of me, there was nothing wrong. When my head felt like it was being cleaved, there was nothing wrong. Exams, X-rays, CT Scans, Thyroid function tests, Angiograms, MRIs - nothing has ever been found to be wrong with me.
Sound a little jaded and skeptical of the medical profession? You bet.
That being said, I am glad you finally got your husband to go to the doctor, helpinthehub. Sometimes it takes awhile and you may have to change doctors a few times, but once you find one that knows, stick with him or her. I finally got a doc that at least knows what CH is and is trying to treat it. I've had some progress and some setbacks, but we are still trying. One of these days we may even find something that stops these pains permanently. I wish pain free days and nights for you and your hubby.
Gator
Nuthin' wrong with me
PS: Oh, and this is a good place to vent your frustrations to people who listen to you and try to understand.
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