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Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye (Read 16591 times)
Annette
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #75 - Jun 21st, 2008 at 2:00pm
 

His family , especially his mother, who had all but totally abandoned Daniel in the last 2 years upon hearing of his illnesses, who totally denied he had CH, is trying to upstage me regarding his funeral service.

His mother is threatening to contest for his body and to have him buried in Melbourne. She didnt want him to be cremated ( as per his wishes ) and for me to keep his ashes.

I hope things will not get ugly but since Daniel did not leave a will, I might have to fight it out in the Supreme Court.

Please pray for extra strength for me. Thank you so much.


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nani
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #76 - Jun 21st, 2008 at 2:40pm
 
I don't know how it is in Australia, but in the US a legal spouse is the next of kin. No one else could dispute such an issue. Do you have an attorney?

Annette, is there a link to a guestbook we could sign? It would be nice for us to be able to wish a brother a safe journey.
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beachmusic
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #77 - Jun 21st, 2008 at 2:46pm
 
I am so very sorry!  May we all pray that God blesses you and your children with the extra strength and also faith you need now
during this difficult time.  Cry
Never be afraid to give into to your pain, I believe it may be the only way for you or your children to begin the process of healing.
You are in my prayers.  May God bless you and your family.   Smiley
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Annette
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #78 - Jun 21st, 2008 at 2:50pm
 

Thank you Nani for your kind thoughts. I am not sure about link to a guestbook but I will find out.

I am going to print out this thread and have it displayed at the funeral and I will put a copy of it in his casket to be cremated with him so that he can read everything that his CH family here has written. Daniel has always been very thankful for the support here even when he didnt post much. He used to read the forum every day.

I will have to go to a solicitor on monday to find out more. I am legally his next of kin. However, the police told me that since he didnt leave a will, his family could contest for his body but they would have to go to the Supreme Court. His body has been "tagged" so that it will not be automatically released after the autopsy, awaiting legal order. I am prepared to fight all the way if needs be. His wishes had always been to be with me and the children forever.

Please pray for us as we need extra strength in the weeks to come to pull through this.

Thank you so much everyone.
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LeLimey
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #79 - Jun 21st, 2008 at 3:09pm
 
Parents and spouses fight it out over funerals every day sadly. I know of plenty of cases both in the US and here in the UK. Then there are cases like the Terry Shiavo (sp?) one. Sadly, being a spouse doesn't automatically mean anything.

Annette, if it helps, every memorial book I've ever signed was set up by the funeral home or a newspaper when you put in memoriam or funeral notices in. They should both be able to advise you. I know knowing where to start with stuff is so very daunting at a time like this.

Helen
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tanner
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #80 - Jun 21st, 2008 at 5:12pm
 
 Annette, thank you for your grace and your reply.

Linda and I will pray to lift you up and protect you and the boys as you make your way through this tragic time

Daniel we will see again when God decides it is time.

Prayers and hugz.....Tim and Linda
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #81 - Jun 23rd, 2008 at 12:45pm
 
Prayers are on their way from Finland. Smiley Smiley Smiley

Sanna
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echo
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #82 - Jun 23rd, 2008 at 12:56pm
 
So very sorry for your loss.  Prayers from the midwest.
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thebbz
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #83 - Jun 23rd, 2008 at 2:25pm
 
Stay with it Annette. Things will get better.
thebbz
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Skyhawk5
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #84 - Jun 24th, 2008 at 12:29am
 
May God in Heaven Bless You and your Children. That is what Daniel most certainly wants. He may have left you but not without thoughts of you and the little ones.

My own thoughts of escape have been, that I need to end this punishment to my family, the guilt has become more than I can stand. It is not my wifes fault nor yours. She and you have done everything possible. The Lord knows these things. Please know them yourself.

I know from reading your posts for the last two years that you were not only helping Daniel but the majority of us on this site. I understand why you may not be here in the future, but I for one will miss you and Daniel dearly. I don't post much but I am here lots.

"Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil" P23.
Skyhawk5 (Don)

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Turts
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #85 - Jun 24th, 2008 at 2:25am
 
Dearest Annette,
My deepest of condolences during this difficult time.

I think the trouble is not knowing what to say, but how to say it. To verbalise the deepest of emotions is indeed a difficult thing.
Just know that you and your family will be in all of our hearts, thoughts and prayers.  

Unlike everybody else, we have had the the opportunity to meet and havent taken advantage of it. ( we are only kms away), and not having taken that time to meet with you and Daniel, I will forever be regretful.

If there is anything that i can do, you know where to find me.

psalm 31:24

Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up.
     Expect God to get here soon.

Cry Cry
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« Last Edit: Jun 24th, 2008 at 2:26am by Turts »  

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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #86 - Jun 24th, 2008 at 2:32am
 
My deepest condolences.....thinking of you and your family.
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BlueMeanie
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #87 - Jun 24th, 2008 at 12:58pm
 
I am so sorry to hear the news Annette. I am praying for you and sending my condolences.

With Love,
Bob
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #88 - Jun 24th, 2008 at 1:25pm
 
Wow. That is tough.

May he alway have the wind at his back, may his sails always be full, may he have a perpetual sunset before him
Fair winds and following seas, my brother.

TomM
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Annette
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #89 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 12:17pm
 

The autopsy was done today. What a hard day to go through.

The funeral will be on Monday, Daniel will be cremated and his ashes will sit on my desk so that he can always be with me and this way he can still read the forum whenever he wants.

For now, I have won the battle with the ashes but it looks like his mother and half sister will launch the next fight for his superannuation and insurance money. I dont seem to be able to rest!

Its 2 am now and I cant sleep.  Cry



Please allow me to share this song with Daniel and with all of you.


Un-break My Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The night are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss that pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry that tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on....


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Brew
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #90 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 12:31pm
 
Annette,

I'm still not finding any death announcement in the on-line obituaries of the Sydney Morning Herald - a place where we, as cluster-brothers-and-sisters can wish Daniel a safe journey and express our condolences to his entire family.
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Barry_T_Coles
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #91 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 7:57pm
 
Quote:
Annette,

I'm still not finding any death announcement in the on-line obituaries of the Sydney Morning Herald - a place where we, as cluster-brothers-and-sisters can wish Daniel a safe journey and express our condolences to his entire family.


Been doing the same myself also looked in the Melbourne papers; but from memory under Aust law death notices & funeral announcements can't be aired until the autopsy has been carried out & released.

Regards
Barry
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Jonny
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #92 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 8:08pm
 
Here in my state if nobody PAYS for a death notice to be put in the newspaper....its not, put in the newspaper!
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #93 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 8:21pm
 


In California death notices are a service provided by the funeral home and are added in as a part of the cost..as well as  any on-line condolence book that people who cannot attend  the funeral can sign.  They are automatically added and dispensed as soon as permission is granted.  Iit is always a part of the details one must go through when talking to a funeral director.   

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HappyElaine
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #94 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 8:40pm
 
When my dad died we had to pay a good bit of money for it to be put in the paper.
Buddy and I decided not to have ours put in the paper. We are not even having a funeral. Just cremation and the ashes picked up. Deveny is to keep the ashes of who ever dies first till the other dies then we want to be spread together where ever Deveny lives, in her yard.
It keeps things simple for the love ones left behind. They won't have all the hassle. The money will be better used for things they need.
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #95 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 8:44pm
 
*Here*, you can get a free notice, but it's small and has just the basic information.  Anything more elaborate.  YOu have to pay for.  Does the funeral home have a registry where people can leave on-line condolence?

'darlin
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Jonny
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #96 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 9:03pm
 
It seems to me that Annette is going through enough without having to answer everyones fucking questions!

Am I wrong on this?......Please tell me if I am! Angry

You may mean well, but how well do you mean?
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Jonny
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #97 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 9:33pm
 
Quote:
It seems to me that Annette is going through enough without having to answer everyones fucking questions!

Am I wrong on this?......Please tell me if I am! Angry

You may mean well, but how well do you mean?


Im getting some PM's about this post.

Com'on big mouths.....please post here!

Ass-holes!!!!!
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Jonny
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #98 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 10:15pm
 
Theres alot of back stabbing motherfuckers in this family!

Too bad they like to hide in the shadows....COWARDS!!!!!!!
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Daniel has passed away, time to say goodbye
Reply #99 - Jun 25th, 2008 at 10:36pm
 

    Quote:
I guess some people here are saying that I made this up for attention.



    HUH?    My take is that people here were trying to figure out how they could leave a condolence message and were trying to help you with what we know from how the US does things.

   Sad
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Hurt people.....hurt people.   Think about it.
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