ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are
You decide to have lunch

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
You count them and learn you have five cows
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you
You charge the owners for storing them

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows
You have 300 people milking them
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
You worship them

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
Business seems pretty good
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows
The one on the left looks very attractive

writer wrote on Oct 19^th, 2008 at 12:55pm:


I concur!

writer wrote on Oct 19^th, 2008 at 12:55pm:



Im Simon not Howard where dya get howard from ??