I am new to the forum and am totally grateful to not have to explain what is wrong with my husband and that this sort of thing is normal for us.  On the other hand the truth is I am sick to death of thinking about it worrying about it and in general it controlling our lives.  It has taken my husbands career, our business, its working on taking our house (no we didn't overbuy or lack budgeting skills) but what bothers me most is that I just can't see a future.  Or at least the way its possible.  On a purely practical level there is no way he can be competitive in Computers with this disease, during episodes he is functional for only 3-4 hrs of a day at most.  I can't work because child care for my two boys would be as much as I would make and I don't  feel comfortable ever leaving the boys (17 month & 4 Yrs.)with their Dad because I never know when a attack will hit.  I don't know how to overcome all this especially on my own.  I know God will not give me more than I am capable of but .... I really have no faith in the medical community they just seem to add insult to injury, treatments seem ineffective and the side affects in the past have left him with walking hallucinations fun for me to figure out.  I don't know that I have any real coping skills to deal with any of this sometimes I am not sure anyone could stay sane dealing with this.  Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me that I can't overcome it all.  Anger seems to be a good rebound off depression because it gives me energy to get things done but it doesn't make me a very good supporter.  I worry how this will affect my children seeing there Dad struggle so much and in so much pain.  He stays more upbeat than me.  I feel like we know a hurricane will hit  sometime everyday even a couple of times and progress for our little family becomes so hard.  Destruction happens and nobody else even feels a breeze only we are battling the wind we can't see but definitely can feel.  I keep going knowing that CH will block and knock down everything we try simply because I believe that God does have a plan and he promises it is not for our harm, he promises that it is for our good.  Someone told me that the brain is physically incapable of being negative while being grateful and this method of being joyful always has been my only succeeding method of the battle for my mind.  I don;t do as well when I get tired, or take on too many stresses at once or worse yet get worrying about tomorrow.  But for now I take comfort in the fact that my struggle is not that dissimilar to yours.  I am amply grateful to be understood and thank you for being willing to let me rant.  Thanks.

Grateful_Believer wrote on May 27^th, 2009 at 4:58am:


I can answer this one for you.  My husband has had ch. now ever since my daughter was small.  I worked split shift, so he had her in the evenings/night (when he woud get hit) She is almost 25 now and has no memories of his headaches when she was that young, even though she would try to help him by patting his face of offering to get him a cold rag.  Kids tend to forget those things that don't affect them directly.

Carolyn~aka~deltadarlin'

Anger! Not always a bad thing-direct at the BEAST who causes this pain for your husband..........and then, get him here to help himself!
I can see where you are tired and frustrated and.and..and... but I guess I liken CH to someone who has Cancer.It's MUCH easier to live with, but the end result with CH will be far more positive!
CH does NOT kill, although your husband may feel like  it at times.
You two need to plan on dealing with your husband's hits as they come, be  properly armed for the hits..then, begin living life that happens when he is OK, rahter than focus on the hits.
You love each other, right?? Soo, please, find a good Neuro, read everything on the site.see those subjects on the left?  <<<<..Read them.especially the one about 02. I suspect life will improve gratly for you when you have your armour.
As far as that feeling that you're at the end of your rope.....well, that's why these people are here......and there's a saying in Clusterville....if you're  feeling like you're at the end of the rope.tie a knot in it. hang on...
I think things are going to get better now, you're here, and everyone here is ready to help.
BTW-
Check your PM's, ok?
Here's a big hug, refills are free, anytime you need one!
Cathi

Educate yourself and then get hubby here so I (we) can educate and give him a kick in the tushie.

Make time for you and he will step up...WE have to so pain really isnt an excuse.

have an attack
abort
back to life
repeat

Period....end of sentence

Hello Folks,
My husband just found this site over the weekend and urged me to have a look see at it and so much of what people have posted feels so real to me. I hate the CH attacks so much and I dread them every day. I hate to see him suffering through it and know that there's little to nothing I can do to help. It outs so much strain on a (at times) already fragile relationship and we've only been married just shy of a year. It makes it worse that I'm an insulin dependant diabetic (with all the fun that entails...half blind from it) and his CH attacks seem to synch with my low blood sugar ones, so it's doubly distressing for me at times. I know it's not all about me,,,but sometimesd I find it ao hard to cope when he's 'in season'....so I think I understand a little of the dark, lonely place you go to...I think I go there a bit too often of late...but then I think that people have it worse than me, put on a cheery face and voice and just soldier on.

Get angry and take your life back. You can manage CH with planning and proper treatment. My last episode I missed less than two days of work. Its tough but your tougher. I hate this condition with a passion, not because of the pain, but the loss of life's quality. Get your quality back. Keep fighting, both of you.
all the best
the bb

I am a supporter of a 24 yr old daughter. She started with CH her senior year of college 3 yrs ago. I know the feeling of how it takes over life. She was so ready to graduate and start her life and instead she struggled to graduate. The first year of her CH was pure hell for her, my family and anyone around me. It was all I could think about. I went through counseling and it helped me so much. This site also gave her  guidance and support that I couldn't. It took about a year to find what would calm her chronic conditon. After graduation she entered grad school to stay on my insurance. The past two years she has grown so much and found herself again. She completed her masters and will begin  to teach 6th grade history in the fall. She was determined not to let this take away her dreams. Yeah, it makes road blocks but with determination you can get around them! I still worry though. Guess as long as I'm her Mom that's going to happen.

Charlotte