Hmm... Well this is tough.
Joe, there is a lot of value in your post.
But I think talking is key here. Why does he stay in bed? Because he wants to hide or because of the effects his CH's have on him?
I've only had 4 cycles so far during the last 2,5 years and only during the last 2,5 years.
Ok, so this is still pretty new to me and I've only just discovered this site a couple of weeks ago. This discovery made me realize a lot of things and makes me capable of trying to do different things to battle this beast.
However...
During a cycle I also can't go to work
The first 2-3 hits I can manage without imitrex and I'll probably still go to work and my stubborn nature will not accept that there might be more CH's coming so I'll just go on. When more CH come though, the exhaustion kicks in and the pain is way too much to bear so I need an imitrex.
There's the problem right there. An imitrex just knocks me out cold. I can't go back to doing what I was after taking an imitrex. At least for about an hour I'm knocked out cold on the floor, bed, chair, whatever... The pain is gone sure but I have a total blackout after the shot. Even after the knock out, I'm exhausted from the shot. Maybe I react to something in the shot, I don't know. But it's better than enduring the pain.
Then there's the screwed up head I have during and after a cycle. I can't concentrate, lack orientation and focus etc...
Point being, I'm useless and it hurts knowing that (although I've learned to accept that).
It is only after getting to this site and reading advice and info here and getting wonderful replies to a lot of questions that I got to making an appointment with my doctor about trying out the O2 abortive and maybe verapamil instead of topamax. I seriously hope those things will allow me to function a lot better during and after a cycle.
Given, CH does put me down mentally but I have gotten strong enough to cope with that. If it gets too bad my wife cheers me up with a hug or some gentle words. For me, it is all the side effects that come with CH during a cycle that disable me. Luckily I have still some things to try out so I'm not done battling yet.
@angelmouse75, what I believe is very important is to keep on talking. CH is tough, not only for the sufferer but for everyone involved ... so it is important to all keep talking about how each member of the family experiences it. It will increase the understanding amongst each other.
What I try to do during a cycle is to look forward to that time my cycle will be over. Even though I might not be very useful and just sit around, it helps me stay a little positive and it will allow me not to keep hiding. I mean, you have to get out of it. You can accept you have CH but accepting it has you beaten is another thing.
I hope you and your family will soon have relief from this difficult time!
Best wishes!