Personally, I think you can blame about 5% of this on CH and the other 95% on how he has decided to react to it. I've been episodic for the last 31 years. Had a GREAT day yesterday. Celebrated my retirement after a fantastic 30 year career in law enforcement, retiring as a patrol sergeant. Spent the day signing retirement documents, paused for 20 minutes around 2:00 in the afternoon to fight a CH attack with oxygen and a Red Bull. Was a good fight, but eventually beat it.

Fast forward to 5:00 last night, a great party my station threw for me at a local pizza joint to say good bye to me. Figured half a beer would  be okay as I thought my cycle was almost over. (Shut up you guys, in hind sight I KNOW that was a stupid move )   Yeah, I got SLAMMED. A knee buckling OMG I'm about to start crying in front of my peeps hit. Raced out to the van for the imitrex I swore I wasn't going to resort to this cycle. 10 minutes later I'm back to the party. As a bonus the trex got me throught the night without another hit. (Yeah...no more beer for me for a while...damnit!)

Yes I ramble a lot, but the point is, you can curl up in a ball and give up, or you can live your life between the hits. We have chronics on the board who get creamed multile times EVERY day, they fight through the hits, and get back to living. Get him on this board and we'll help him all we can. Then steer him towards counseling. His staying in bed sounds far more related to depression then it does to CH. Although many with CH have to deal with depression also.

Good luck, you've got a big load you're trying to carry.

Joe

I have to agree with every single word Guiseppi has just said.

Depression just goes along with CH and after a hit...there is a lot of fatigue..however I believe your husband is milking this a bit too far.  I've been chronic for 23 years and raised 7 kids.  I worked for 16 years cleaning other peoples houses where if I got hit in the middle of a job...I'd go out to my car, suck on some 02 or givew myself a shot and with-in 15 mins. after it was over, I'd be back inside cleaning.   Depression?  yes.  Oh, poor little me?  NEVER!

Do you think you can get him to come here and read?  Unless there is something else going on in your marriage, I can almost guarantee that after reading our stories, looking at all the info. on treatments etc...he will be far better able to cope emotionally.

     Good luck to you as I understand how worn out you are right now with doing everything yourself.   

Linda

I have to agree with Guiseppi (my dear husband) on this one Angel. Your  husband may just be feeling overwhelmed with CH but if he's using the sumatriptan I'm assuming he's painfree when he goes back to bed. So if he's getting the rest he needs at night, and then managing the pain with the sumatriptan....well that leads me to believe it's something else.

If it were my husband I would be on the phone to his doctor for referrals to someone that can help with the depression. Maybe he hates his job? Maybe afraid of getting hit at work? Something going on there and my guess is the same behavior will continue until the root cause is identified and dealt with.

Meanwhile Angel we are here for you. Feel free to PM me or any one of us if you want an "offline" discussion.

If your husband joins in the CH discussions it may help him to know there are others that go through the same thing he does and still live health full lives. God I felt awful when Guiseppi took me aside at his retirement party last night to say "I'm in trouble" and ran out to the car. I thought he was going to do 02 out there so I was just going to mingle and hope nobody missed him. Instead he injected and was back in under 10 minutes and was fine. I don't think anyone even noticed he was gone.

Keep your spirits up, we're here to help you. And make sure you get some rest.

Christy

Guiseppi wrote on Mar 31^st, 2010 at 11:23am:

Close:

Self-preservation.

I would blame it 33% on CH, 33% on depression and 33% on him.  The reason is simple.  Depression and CH are a deadly combination.  You can treat one and the other pops up.  I have only found one anti-depressant I can take without triggering CH.

With this said, he needs to get back to work.  The best way to fight CH (and depression) is to get the right meds (or other ways to fight it) and get back to life as usual.

Tell him you have heard that with O2, many Chers have found the ability to live a normal life.  O2 can help a lot with the pain and the mental anguish of CH and thus maybe jumpstart him to work!

Anyway, best of luck may he become pain free soon!

Angel,

I can't add a thing to what Guiseppi said.  The fear of CH is often stronger than the actual attacks.  The fear of getting hit in public is real, and can be almost paralyzing, but MUST be overcome if he is going to live a self-satisfying life.  If he continues to hide from life he will be miserable, plus he will miss out on the best part of life, his marriage.  Unfortunately, YOU are NOT the one who can tell him.  Get him here somehow and let us help to encourage and build him back up.  I really doubt medication for depression is the answer.  From what you said, and I am not a psychologist, it sounds more like a lack of confidence in dealing with the beast.  It is easier to hide from it, and to hide from life itself than to face it and deal with it.  I understand where he is, have been there, and it is no fun, but it becomes increasingly harder to face it the more he hides.  I've been dealing with it for wellover 30 yrs now, 7+ chronic, and have learned life goes on whether I participate or not.

Jerry

Hmm... Well this is tough.
Joe, there is a lot of value in your post.
But I think talking is key here. Why does he stay in bed? Because he wants to hide or because of the effects his CH's have on him?

I've only had 4 cycles so far during the last 2,5 years and only during the last 2,5 years.
Ok, so this is still pretty new to me and I've only just discovered this site a couple of weeks ago. This discovery made me realize a lot of things and makes me capable of trying to do different things to battle this beast.

However...
During a cycle I also can't go to work
The first 2-3 hits I can manage without imitrex and I'll probably still go to work and my stubborn nature will not accept that there might be more CH's coming so I'll just go on. When more CH come though, the exhaustion kicks in and the pain is way too much to bear so I need an imitrex.

There's the problem right there. An imitrex just knocks me out cold. I can't go back to doing what I was after taking an imitrex. At least for about an hour I'm knocked out cold on the floor, bed, chair, whatever... The pain is gone sure but I have a total blackout after the shot. Even after the knock out, I'm exhausted from the shot. Maybe I react to something in the shot, I don't know. But it's better than enduring the pain.

Then there's the screwed up head I have during and after a cycle. I can't concentrate, lack orientation and focus etc...
Point being, I'm useless and it hurts knowing that (although I've learned to accept that).

It is only after getting to this site and reading advice and info here and getting wonderful replies to a lot of questions that I got to making an appointment with my doctor about trying out the O2 abortive and maybe verapamil instead of topamax. I seriously hope those things will allow me to function a lot better during and after a cycle.

Given, CH does put me down mentally but I have gotten strong enough to cope with that. If it gets too bad my wife cheers me up with a hug or some gentle words. For me, it is all the side effects that come with CH during a cycle that disable me. Luckily I have still some things to try out so I'm not done battling yet.

@angelmouse75, what I believe is very important is to keep on talking. CH is tough, not only for the sufferer but for everyone involved ... so it is important to all keep talking about how each member of the family experiences it. It will increase the understanding amongst each other.
What I try to do during a cycle is to look forward to that time my cycle will be over. Even though I might not be very useful and just sit around, it helps me stay a little positive and it will allow me not to keep hiding. I mean, you have to get out of it. You can accept you have CH but accepting it has you beaten is another thing.

I hope you and your family will soon have relief from this difficult time!

Best wishes!

Brew, that's 2 great tips in a row
Haha, thanks!!

Just wondering how to manually inject myself using a q-tip thingy, but I'll look it up. Who knows it might indeed work.

Cheers

from what I read, this is a matter of depression NOT clusters.

I'm a 6 1/2 yr chronic. During this stint, I had 2 children (most recently my son was born 12 days ago).
I have not lost or taken leave from work with exception of 1 week for a DHE infusion.

I think that the way we deal with pain and the way we share it with our supporters is extremely important.

We must learn to cope with the mental pain and the physical will not be as difficult to cope with.

With all due respect, your hubby needs a kick in the ass.
I used to have my daughter with me rocking on my couch. Her to sleep and me with my Oxygen because I was in agony. the bottom line is that I am a father first and the fact that my wife was dealing with post partum depression made it all the more important that I do more despite having multiple attacks.

The fact is that if he didn't have this disorder would he not be helping? you knwo the answer.

he needs help getting over the anxiety or depression more than the clusters and he needs to step up and be a better husband and father.

Best of luck to you

E

Quote:


Yeesss....but not all kicks are the same. I have been saying that depression can be like an addiction, with exactly the same benchmarks of personal and social destruction as any substance. It's called a process addiction. And it's addictive qualities are real.

So...yes. The process, in this case depression, needs to be confronted as does any substance abuse. But with love and information. Knowledge is the key to any recovery, and realiziation that there is a problem is the beginning. True with all addictions, process included.

Simply harassing the individual, or worse shaming him, will only deepen the need for medicated feelings. And it doesn't matter what the drug of choice is...alcohol or depression...the end result is not productive. lance