LasVegas
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Episodic CH since 11 yrs old, now 50.
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THE STAFF CHRISTMAS PARTY NOTICE FROM HR >> >> >>FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director. >>TO: All Employees >>DATE: 8th December 2014 >>RE: Christmas Party >> >> >>I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place >>on >>December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill >>House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small >>band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And >>don't >>be surprised if the Boss shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree >>will be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at >>that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of >>gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! >>The Boss will make a special announcement at the Party. >>Merry Christmas to you and your Family. >>Pauline >> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ >>FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director >>TO: All Employees >>DATE: 9th December 2014 >>RE: Holiday Party >> >>In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. >>We >>recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides >>with >>Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're >>calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other >>employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or >>Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your >>enjoyment. >>Happy now? >>Happy Holidays to you and your family. >>Pauline. >> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ >>FROM; Pauline, Human Resources Director >>TO: All Employees >>DATE: 10th December 2014 >>RE: Holiday Party >> >> >>Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous >>requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to >>accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, 'AA >>Only', you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle >>this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed >>now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and >>Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE >>ALLOWED. >>Pauline. >>------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ >> >>FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director >>TO: All Employees >>DATE: 10th December 2014 >>RE: Holiday Party >> >> >>What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the >>Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during >>daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a >>luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' >>beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until >>the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home >>in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for >>members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and >>pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed >>to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each >>will >>have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay >>men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross >>dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat >>food >>will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in >>the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food >>first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant >>cannot supply 'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?! >>Pauline. >> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ >>FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director >>TO: All F****** Employees >>DATE: 10th December 2014 >>RE: The F******* Holiday Party. >> >> >>Vegetarian p*****s I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep >>this >>party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit >>quietly >>at the table furthest from the 'grill of death', as you so quaintly put >>it, >>you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you >>know >>tomatoes have feelings too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard >>them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!! >>I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die. >>The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ >>FROM: John, Acting Human Resources Director >>TO: All Employees >>DATE: 10th December 2014 >>RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party >> >> >>I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline a speedy recovery, and >>I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the >>Management >>has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the >>afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay. >>John.
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