Living in Fear


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Posted by Amanda Best (151.202.33.183) on October 08, 1999 at 18:16:16:

Hi there. I havent really been posting lately,,,my last post I believe was to let you all know that my cycle had ended. I really thought that I would be so happy when it finally ended but instead I find that I am just frightened of what possibly waits around the corner. It had been 5 years between my last 2 cycles but I have nightmares that Ill get them for 6 months of every year. I know that I could never live like that.I hate being in this state of constant fear.
I had some mild shadows yesterday and spent hours crying on the phone to my mother. I almost feel like moving home because I KNOW THAT I COULD NEVER SURVIVE
WHAT I WENT THROUGH ALONE AGAIN!
Oh well, I will do my best to get on with my life. I just wish that I could stop crying.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Amanda


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