Posted by hub (206.246.133.197) on December 04, 1999 at 20:02:38:
I can't be quiet.
I can't believe it!
I apologize for my lack of eloquence, shoot it's down right rudeness, but if I don't reply while I'm feeling passionate I'll let it slide.
Someone posted they sleep with a 10! Their doctor told them they have atypical clusters?! Sir did you read the kip scale? Cluster Head Pain, I will not call it a headache and hesitate at even calling it pain, is phenominal. It is white hot fire unrelentingly searing through your head or brain or teeth or cheek or the roof of your mouth or etc...usually in fine directed lines like an ice pick or a razor blade or an auger turning pulsing thrusting retracting. It's excruciating it's exquisite it's an entity it's not natural. It's not pain as I know it. It something completely different. It is a demon.
I have sewed my severely gashed thumb up by myself without anestetics. Piece of cake. Cut a finger off in a car door as a toddler. Cried for 15 minutes or so. But when I have a cluster attack I ask Jesus to take me, and I aint kidding. I haven't killed myself because I don't think thats Gods plan for me and I love my wife and kids too much. I know that it will be over eventually. I can endure it just one more time...just once...thats all I have to do it...just this time.
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It is a sad sad thing when people are being lumped into the category of clusters because of the laziness and ineptitude of of some in the medical profession.
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Thank God for professionals such as doctor Goadsby
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I seldom post anything on this board of any significance, but I come to this board daily to hear of breakthroughs and remedies or new meds or rituals that help cluster sufferers make it just one more attack. Not for interesting conversations and exchanges from those who do not understand this demon called clusterheadache.
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You want to know a secret? I think I get migraine sometimes. I think this because I know those who get migriane. Migraine runs in my family.
However I didn't start getting them until after CH. So they are really inconsequential.
If I got migraine and never experienced cluster I would probably see a doctor about them. But after CH I think I can make it without medical help. Now if my migaine becomes frequent and severe enough that I have to seek medical help... I'LL DO IT... And if they make my life so unmanagable that I need emotional support. I'll go to the BY GOLLY migraine message board NOT THE BY GOLLY CLUSTERHEADACHE WEBSITE!
This malady aint chic or cool! I have grown quite fond of some of the people that I have met at this website. But the truth is, I wish that I had never met them because I wish that I never had CH! I hope I never have another episode. I'm a veteran now. I'll never be the same as other "normal" people. So I'm going to hang out here like the ole boys at the vfw.
lyg & g's and ?
hub