Posted by gary , well, maybe............ (22.214.171.124) on February 09, 2000 at 02:00:14:
It is apparent that from time to time we need to restate our purpose.
We've tried this before, but the consensus product always got too complex and fell by the wayside.
So, I've whipped up a simple, direct, no-nonsense version, to submit for your consideration.
I believe it is sophisticated enough for Drummer's elevated tastes, sufficiently eloquent to assuage Carl D & Jonny's collective sensitivities, politically correct enough for Margi, simple enough to satisfy Q's trouble understanding complex systems, succinct enough for Kip and Bob P, and - most of all - sufficiently full of shit to give Elaine a good horse laugh (or would that be a hoarse laugh at this point ?)
and yes Todd, this IS fully proper modern english - it passes all grammar screens, lands squarely on a 12th grade reading level, has no mispelled words, IS in fact a single proper sentence, carries no evil passive constructions and - miracle upon miracle -
I FINALLY ACHIEVED IT - scores a dead flat ZERO rated readability
I call it the Cluster Headache Message Board Oldtimer Clique Charter
(I was gonna call it Shirley, but..)
enny whey - here it is -
(must be read in a single breath for proper enunciation)
The CHMBOTC shall, through concentration of their determination upon the elimination of obfuscation in the generation, preparation, illumination and publication of documentation and experimentation; provide clarification to, and validation of, the participation of those individuals subject to certification as authentic sufferers of this peculiar cranial aberration; and to foster further accreditation in the enumeration, elucidation and explanation of possible complications; with consideration of the mitigation of any adverse ramifications; and are thus to be charged with the delineation and delimitation of the configuration and operation of any acknowledged medication; ensuring consecration of the produced dedication to, and dissemination of, CH understanding,at the least in the aggregation of the association, to the gratification of the upper stratification of the cognoscenti who comprise the fundamental wellspring of conversation directed at preventing ossification of the imagination, and to reduce exaggeration of the pontifications of the above referenced delegation.
So be it alway, be it more or be it less.
1. this is actually a copyrighted piece I did as a sideshot, while working as a technical ghostwriter, with only a half dozen words to convert it to CHMB purposes - so hands off !
2. originally I worked it up as a gag where I worked, but the boss pasted it on the section group door
3. the gang of loonie tune old hippies who thought this was funny (me included) were working as unacknowledged independent contractors, writing and/or editing the management manuals for a now functioning nuclear power plant
SLEEP TIGHT AMERICA !!!!!
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